Hanging on a Ledge

At 6 am, she went over to the balcony to open the window and let some air in as every morning. She said thank you out loud and continued her morning prayers. She looked down and noticed a pair of legs dangling over the downstairs balcony. To her horror, she saw the man who lives downstairs make the sign of the crossed and hold on to the ledge with both hands. He had no shoes on, was wearing jeans, and sweat was pouring down his arms. Mind you, it was a chilly morning.

-      Hey, don´t jump!

-      Mind your own business!

-      A human life is my business. Get down and we can talk. I can go downstairs, or you can come up.

-      What do you care? You are going about your life as if nothing were happening.

-      What do you mean?

-      You wake up every day at 6:00 AM and say good morning as if the sun is going to answer you.

-      You can hear me?

-      The walls are not that thick in this building

-      OK then, so why don't you get down and we can talk over a cup of coffee?

-      Don't bother wasting your time!

 She was stalling. She needed to make that man get off the ledge. But how? While caught in her thoughts, the neighbor from the apartment below the man on the ledge yells in a sleepy voice:

-      If you're going to jump, just jump already! Some of us don't get to stay home during this lockdown and we have to go to work.

The man on the ledge looks up and says:

-      You see, there is someone in the building that agrees with me.

-      I can agree with you too as long as you give me a good enough reason to end your life.

-      What do you mean a good enough reason? Is there ever a good enough reason for someone to end their life?

-      You tell me, you're the one who's about to do it.

-      OK lady you want to know what's going on? I'll tell you what's going on.

As he spoke, he started making gestures and using his hands which meant letting go of the ledge and the lady upstairs started to worry that if he made a wrong move, he would fall off.

-      Hey, let's do this. Before you go on, I go down, you open your door and I'll meet you there. Then you could tell me what's going on.

-      No, that's OK. I'll do it from here.

The man below hollered:

-      Do you people mind? Either you go up or she comes down, dude. Or just jump for Christ´s sake!

The lady got nervous but she couldn't show him that she was nervous.

-      Sir, will you kindly not interrupt us?

The man gave her the finger and went inside.

-      Alright start explaining why you want to jump and crash on the cement below.

-      Are you some kind of alien? Do you not know that we are under lockdown? Loads of people are dying. People are losing their jobs.

their families.And, most of all, their minds.

-      Yes, I am fully aware of that. That's why I am getting up now at six and not 4:45. I am working from home now.

-      Well, for your information; I have lost my job, my father- in- law, my mother and now my wife is in the hospital; I cannot even visit her.

-      I'm terribly sorry for your loss.  I will pray for your wife to get better.

-      Pray? Is that all you have to say?

-      Prayer is a powerful weapon. I will pray that your wife gets better. I am sure she will because she is young and healthy. You know. I have more to say, but you haven't convinced me yet of why you should jump.

-      I don't need to convince you.

By this time, the guy below him had gone to his balcony and joined in on the conversation.

-      You know, I would jump too if I had lost everything like you. From what I know your father-in-law supports you. Oops, sorry, supported you. He´s dead now. I remember you telling me that your father had already passed away some years ago and so had your mother-in-law. If your wife passes away, it'll be you and the kids. Yeah, you´re really up shit creek. I say: jump.

-      Excuse me sir, you are really not helping here. Can you let me do the talking?

-      You aren´t doing a very good job either, lady.

With that being said, he goes in again.

-      There you go - kids. You have kids. Isn't that the perfect reason why you shouldn't die? Who's going to take care of your kids?

-      I'm sure they'll be OK or they will still be better off without me. I have nothing to offer them. No money. No sanity. I'm just a 35- year-old depressed man.

-      Are you even listening to yourself? All your children want is your love. That´s what every child wants. Don't you love them?

-      Of course, I love them.

-      If you're willing to end your life and leave them to strangers, you don't love them.

-      What do you know lady? You don't have kids of your own.

-      True, but life has shown me that kids bring out the unconditional love in parents. However, being an educator, all these years has taught me a few things about what children want and need. And that is love.

The guy two floors below was really unhappy that he couldn't go back to sleep and popped out on the balcony once again.

-      Yeah, not all parents love their kids you know. There have been many cases of parents who treat their children badly or even kill them. If you want my opinion, you should jump.

- Why don't you try going back to sleep? You're not helping at all. You have kids you should know what the fatherly love is.

- Yeah lady I have kids and lucky for me they are old enough to live on their own. This guy upstairs is always yelling at his kids because they are always crying. It doesn't sound like he's such a good father after all.

- You're not helping at all mister. Have you ever seen or met his children? They cry because they are young. Besides, they still need their father to teach them how to become brilliant adults. The man who screams at his kids is the one who lives next door to me. Sound travels.

The man on the ledge was looking up and down as if he were watching a tennis match as the upstairs and the downstairs neighbors were arguing.

- Hey lady, how do you know my kids are young?

- I also hear them cry. But I also hear how you sing to them and how you tell them stories before they go to sleep to try to calm them down. They really do need you. Ponder on that before you decide to jump.

- Wow! The walls in this building are very thin.

- Yes, I'm afraid so. I'm sorry that if my prayers in the morning at my balcony window wake you up or frustrate you. I am just grateful every morning to have the opportunity to start off a new day.

- I wish I could find that gratitude too.

- You can.

- But, how?

- Just look into the eyes of your children and you will find it. You can also feel it in their hugs. Give it a try.

Written: April 23, 2020

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Thoughts....

5 weeks, 35 days: without seeing my family.

2 weeks, 14 days:  without seeing my students from the 4th year.

3 weeks, 21 days: without seeing my other high school students.

Being away from everybody has made me reflect on myself and, also, how I can help others by staying safe at home.

I have been able to talk to a lot of people via internet and many of them are anxious and worried about the future.

As I see it, there is no need to worry about the future. We should try to take this one day at a time; live now and not worry about tomorrow.

We should try to see what we need now and what others need now, too. For some it might be food, for others it might be an ear or a shoulder to cry on, and for some others it might just be something to laugh about.

People are out there to help you get through this. They might be in your household, via internet, or even across the street through a window.

Some people are having a real hard time dealing with all this extra time on their hands. I read the others day that now we actually have 8 hours to work, 8 hours to sleep and 8 hours to enjoy and appreciate.

From this experience we will be able to appreciate things that we have been taking for granted for quite some time. For each person it is something different. I suppose that for some people nothing will change.

You know, I have been in a similar situation 9 years ago when I couldn´t walk. I had to stay indoors and make the most of my time. So, I basically read, wrote, painted, slept, talked to people, exercised, cooked and respected my body more. Back then I learned that we need dreams and goals, however, it doesn´t always turn out as we plan. There are things we cannot control.

So, if I can out my two cents in, just make the most out of what you can.

Written: April 6, 2020

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