Sisters

                                 ~~~~~~~~~~ For Miriam and Melissa ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sisters, competitors, each one wants their parents’ attention and they do everything they can to obtain it. I should know; I have two of them. I am the oldest. My middle sister is a year and nine months younger than me and the little sister    (she will always be my little sister although she is much taller than I am) is twelve years younger than me. When she was born, I used to take care of her while my mom was at work and my dad slept for he worked the night shift, so to me she was my live doll (my little daughter), whom I protected, fed as well as dressed.

My middle sister and I always had our quarrels; we were, after all, competing for mom´s attention. Being the oldest was not an easy task as I was growing up additionally my middle sister was a tough cookie who loved seeing me get into trouble because I had to be the example. Most of the times, I would always be breaking up the fights between the two of them. I had to otherwise I would be the one who would be punished just because I was the oldest which included being responsible for them.

Having been the baby in the family for ten years, giving up that position was very hard on my middle sister. I was daddy´s little girl and she was mommy´s favorite, however, when the little one came along everyone fell in love with her and she was the one on a pedestal; the middle sister couldn´t handle that too well.

Many funny events (in both senses of the word funny) happened while we were growing up. Ever since I was five I have always known that I wanted to be a teacher. Like most little girls with this wish, I used to teach my stuffed animals and dolls. Not only did I teach them, but I also taught my middle sister. I used to come home from school every day when in the first grade and teach her what I had learned on that day. Being very bright, she soaked it all in and when she was in the first grade, she knew everything that was on the curricula. The teachers thought she was a genius therefore, moved her up to the second grade together in the same class as me. Just because of that she received loads of praise, which made me feel jealous and think up a plan. I wanted my friends to be mine only, I didn´t want to share my world with her at that point. She was always more popular than I was. So, there was only one thing I could do; stop teaching her. My plan worked out and she ended up flunking the second grade while I moved on to the third. I am a nerd. I really like to study. Her, on the other hand, didn´t spend too much time neither energy on studying and managed to get passing grades; whereas, I would spend hours studying and reading.

Don´t get me wrong, I loved my sister (and still do) despite being jealous and thinking that my being responsible for her actions was totally unfair. The love between us was so great (although we didn´t show it too often) that when we were kids we used to share the same bed and I used to hold on to her night gown and she would hold on to mine just in case in the middle of the night a witch or vampire would come and try to take one of us. By holding on to the nighty, we would wake up and save the person who was being abducted. I remember once when I woke up and she was gone. I screamed so loud that mom and dad ran into our room. Little did we know, she was sleeping under the bed. Guess, that holding on to the nighty wouldn´t have worked after all. I was happy that she was found but I still pinched her for having done that and we ended up fighting resulting in no TV for a week for me.

Another episode that happened (which until today we laugh about and reinforces her idea that I am a witch) was when she was making funny noises with her nose and I was trying to sleep. After the tenth time she had made the noise I turned around, looked her in the eyes and said “You do that one more time, the vein in your nose is going to burst and mom and dad will have to take you to the hospital and they are going to stick things up your nose there.” I was really angry. I gave my back to her; she did make the noise and then started screaming. It really happened. The vein burst, blood gushed out of her nose and she was rushed to the hospital. I felt so guilty and thought that God was going to punish me. (I was brought up in a very catholic way and believed that God would punish me for these and other things.) But no, my mom punished me: no playing outside for a week.

Mom used to make chore lists for us and we had to do what was written no ands or buts. I didn’t mind it as much as my middle sister did. I loved it when I was scheduled to wash up the bathroom or the kitchen because then I could play with water. There was one day that I had cleaned up the kitchen and mom was coming home in a half hour or so, I went to my room to study but then got hungry, so I went back into the kitchen and was horrified with what I saw. There was rice, coffee, and flour all over the counter and the floor. I couldn´t believe it. My middle sister had done that. I looked at the clock, grabbed the vacuum cleaner and put what I could back in the containers where they belonged. I managed to clean the kitchen up just in time; mom came in the door and said: “The kitchen looks great.” I did not eat rice until the next trip to the supermarket. At dinner I told my mom that I was on a diet. I guess that being overweight was an advantage in this situation. But my sister was skinny and she was forced to eat the rice. Her plan to get me in trouble had backfired; she had to eat the dirty rice.

There were many things that happened during these ten years without the youngest sister. However, when she was born lots of things changed.

The competition between me and the middle sister seemed to settle down or at least not be as visible. Nonetheless, the war between the middle and the little sister grew and I took sides. I was always sticking up for the little one.

When the little one was around three, we moved back to Brazil. Then I had a bedroom all to myself. However, I was afraid of what could happen between the other two who had to share a room; at least they had separate beds. Still, I could hear them fight from my room and always had to make them stop before mom or dad showed up because that would mean, I would get punished.

Before moving into our new house, we all shared a room at my grandmother´s house. It was kind of fun. We slept on mattresses, but on the floor and all in the same room. Dad said that those days were dreadful considering that we all talked in our sleep and fought all night long. Later on, the little sister started sleep walking, which freaked out the middle sister. One night the middle sister woke up and the little sister was hovering over her face with the evilest look on her face. She screamed and woke everybody up, except the sleepwalker. I just laughed.

There was a time in our teenage years that we wanted a pet. I wanted a dog and the middle sister wanted a cat. (Nowadays the tastes have inverted; she prefers dogs and I love cats.)One day we went to a nearby neighborhood and as I walked by a pet shop I saw a Pekingese puppy. It was love at first sight. Mom bought it making me promise that I would take care of it and clean up after it. I named it Honey. My middle sister wanted a cat and managed to get one from a cousin who had found a litter near her house. The cat was so full of fleas that my middle sister gave it three baths. Now the tiny creature was found stiff the next morning under her bed. When she did the same thing to the second one, mom decided that just a dog in the house was enough. My poor sister, she didn´t know any better.

Apart from everything that happened between us we have grown into beautiful and strong women. The middle sister got married and had two lovely children, whom I am very proud of. The little sister has the most adorable boy who is my Godchild. Despite our differences, there is respect and love.

If I had to go back again and do it all over again, I wouldn´t change anything, not even a slight bit.

January 2013 Miriam, Melissa and Me - The Sisters

Written June 26, 2013

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