Am I Asking Too Much?

I have been questioning myself lately about an aspect that has bothered me for a long time and that now I have decided to change my attitude towards it. The fact is that there are some people that walk by me ( at work, on the streets, at church, and so on) and do not even say hello or make a movement with a wink or nod to acknowledge my presence.

You might be thinking as you read that no one is obliged to greet others when they walk by. I agree, however, I come from a time when saying hello, thank you and excuse me was something that we said all the time; a sign of politeness. Of course we learned how to use them and whenever we didn´t, someone would remind us they existed, mainly parents and teachers. It is a habit that I still practice these days.

I greet strangers in the elevators and even if they cross my path on the street, I tend to say hello. It makes people feel good, I reckon, at least it breaks the tension. To me, all people are the same and deserve the same treatment; more on the lines of “do onto others as you would like them to do to you”.

However, there have been times when these people, who pass by and do not even acknowledge the fact that another human is going by, have come up to me at some time, usually towards the end of the year, to ask me for my help in correcting something that has to do with the language I teach. Then they find a smile, which was inside hiding all this time, and nicely ask for my help.  In the past I have helped them out but nowadays I am having second thoughts. I have done it because I wanted to and not because it is part of my task as a teacher to do so, which it is not. I have done it for free and there were times when not even a simple thank you was given in return as payment.

 It is a very touchy issue nowadays because these people are not used to taking no as an answer. Anyhow, my big dilemma is that when I say no, which I eventually will end up doing due to lack of time and an overhaul of work, why can´t I simply tell them the real reasons behind my no?  What I would like to say to them is “Hey! Wake up and smell the coffee! What goes round comes round! You haven´t greeted me all year long, even turned your head at times, and now because YOU need me YOU expect me to help YOU because of a simple smile. Get real!” But that can´t be said, now can it?

I am also thinking like who am I to try to make these people aware of the fact that they will have a tough life if they do not change their ways? Who do they think they are to treat another human being this way? What makes them think that they are superior or better than the next person? In life one has to give to receive. Giving does not mean material things but a simple greeting is sometimes all a person needs.

We need others in our lives; we were not created to be alone, to live in isolation. People need one another and the sooner you learn this, the easier life can be.

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(Written August 14, 2013)Todos os direitos reservados a Meire Marion.