Goodbye 2020

             As I get ready to bid this year goodbye, I start to reflect about it. What a year! It was not an easy period for anyone. I feel for those who have lost a loved one – almost 200,000 just here in Brazil. I feel for those who caught the virus and battled their way through the pain and distress. I feel for those who have gotten sick due to depression, anxiety and other illnesses that this year is leaving them with due to the fear of catching covid-19.

Despite all this sadness and fear, 2020 did bring along lots of valuable lessons, some of which are that we are not in control. Life takes its course whether we agree with it or not. Money does not buy you health. It really does not matter how wealthy you may be, when it comes to a pandemic, your money will not buy you life. Hugs are so important. I have not hugged anyone since March (confession, my little sister hugged me today to wish me a happy new year. It was so spontaneous and from the heart and boy did it feel amazing! I needed it). Family and friends are important and those little get togethers like a cup of coffee at a coffeeshop are certainly missed.

We needed to learn how to live with ourselves and take better care of ourselves. We were forced to relearn how to be cleaner. Basic hygiene is number one for you to have a healthy life. I personally learned how to use my time wiser. If I felt like painting, I did. If a story came to my head, I wrote it down. If I felt like dancing, I did. If I felt like wearing pajamas all day long, I did. If I felt tired, I slept. If I felt like eating something, I cooked it. Nonetheless, I feel that I should have exercised more. I cannot forget Netflix and my computer. I was nominated the queen of Netflix by a dear friend. I watched so many series and it was one after the other, taking advantage of mt tv time – something I did not have time nor energy for prior to the pandemic. My computer was my work tool and mind you, teaching online was not an easy task and it was something that all teachers needed to learn overnight.  (My thank you goes out to all those who helped me in times of technological difficulties).

 I learned so many things this year that ends in a few hours. However, a very valuable lesson is to read people with masks on. I learned to see their smiles and frowns through their eyes. True feelings appeared in the looks that people gave me.

In short, 2020 was a year of learning. I am grateful that I have made it to here.

I hope that 2021 brings us mainly health and peace.

Happy New Year!

Written: December 31, 2020

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My Inner Tsunami

In chains filled with sorrow.

I could never imagine I'd be where I am today. Part of me wants to scream and run while the other part just does what is supposed to be done; sucking in the tears from the anger that builds up inside. Meanwhile, there is still another part that tries to keep the other parts intact. The anger within loathes the Zen half of me. My inner child is suffocated and being torn to pieces.

The 10-year-old keeps questioning, why me? Did I have a say in all of this? Did anyone ask me whether I'd be able to complete the task? Does anyone care that I have to carry my own cross which tortures me on a daily basis?

Once again, I am thrown in a pit. It's burning up inside of me teaching me lessons I did not sign up for. In chains and in sorrow. Every night crying myself to sleep, sleeping only a few hours deprived of my rest and peace which is taking a toll on my body and mental health. To deal with my inner demons, I need to fight off those of others as well. But at what cost? The stakes are high; higher than I want them to be.

Sleep, where have you gone to? You were here just a few minutes before the tsunami hit. The torment lasted one hour, then tears that just gushed out like the liquid that comes out of a fire extinguisher. My entire body trembles which means that tomorrow (if I ever get some sleep) there will be aches and discomfort.

Breathe! I keep telling myself.

Inhale!

Exhale!

Inhale!

Exhale!

But how if my nose is stuffed from the sobbing?

I can hardly breathe. How can I take deep breaths if the air is stuck in my throat?

Slowly I start to yawn. Guess Morpheus has found me. Gradually my eye lids begin to close. Sleep just took a wrong turn somewhere on this evening that the tsunami hit.

What scares me is that there's always the second wave!!!

Written: December 23, 2020

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Meet-the-author Event 2020

This year I was blessed with two events where I met up with 7^th graders and we chatted for 30 minutes in each class about my book CHARLIE THE FISH. It was an online event due to the pandemic. It was a truly amazing experience and it meant the world to me to see that these 12/13-year-olds appreciate the story and their interest in knowing about the writing process and me.

Some of the questions they asked were where I got my inspiration to write this story ,which camera I used to take the pictures ,why Charlie is such a nice fish ,why Stuart is so mean and if fish is my favorite pet among others .

It was a tremendously pleasant event where I felt very grateful for the honesty and curiosity of these students.

I am extremely grateful to the teacher who organized it and I'm sure that she prepared those students well in terms of what questions to ask and how to formulate those questions. I think that their English is very good being that at this school they start learning English in the 6th grade. Of course, I realize that some of these students are more advanced than others. Nonetheless, there were no moments of silence and awkwardness.

Some of the feedback that I got was that in the beginning this story is pretty easy to understand but then the vocabulary used gets a bit more challenging which they enjoyed. They also enjoyed the activities that I prepared to go along with the story, which I had emailed to the teacher when she wrote to me telling me that they would be reading my book.

I am looking forward to next year´s group 😊

 

Written: December 17, 2020

Photo: Meire Marion

Photo: Meire Marion

 

Class of 2020

 

Yesterday was an emotional evening. The Class of 2020 graduated. It was a different arrangement due to Covid-19. Unfortunately, only the students were present and family, friends, teachers and staff watched from their homes. However, if we take a look on the bright side, more people were able to share the moment. Luckily, I had already written my speech a few weeks prior to the event. Luckily because the closer the day arrives to say goodbye, the more the emotions build up inside.

I was fortunate to be one of the `tutores´of this class. ( ´Tutores´ were I teach are appointed teachers who help the students resolve issues that they may face throughout their high school years. We call the group `tutoria´and I was blessed with a pretty special group.)

I was so fortunate that when I was told that my video had to last 3 minutes max., it did (2:56 to be exact) and I did not need to make any changes. Well, to be completely honest, I recorded it several times because I would joke up during so many parts, in the end I did get teary-eyed.

Here is my speech.

Graduation speech - December 11, 2020

 

“Good evening class of 2020. Tonight, is a night of celebration. We have joined here to commemorate your achievements, your bravery, - you. I am very grateful to have been part of this journey, which started off rough and painful with the loss of our Dani. You were very brave dealing with your grief. It was the same year that I had lost my father. Together we faced this storm. Haruki Murakami, the Japanese author, (my future husband as I always say), wrote “and once the storm is over, you won´t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won´t even be sure whether the storm is really over, but one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won´t be the same person who walked in. That´s what the storm is about”. Yes, we have made it through the storm, with tears, respect and most of all love.

Maya Angelou, the American author, wrote: “We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated. Nothing can dim the light that shines from within”. My dear students, you can be sure that you were not defeated. Your light is shining brighter than ever. 2020 has been a tough year. Who could have imagined that we would be celebrating your achievements this way? I know you have dreamed of your graduation in the most traditional way. Though it might sadden you, think of the amazing stories you will be able to share with future generations about 2020, the year everyone stayed home. The year you had to change your habits. The year you were forced to look inwards. The year you needed to make an extra effort to focus on your studies. The year of uncertainty. Once again, you did it. 2020 has been a lesson about relationships, family, facing challenges and hope. Although it is still not over, this too shall pass.

My dear friends, I have learned much more from you than I have taught you, and for this I will always be grateful. You have so much to give to the world. As of this moment, you are heading towards new horizons. Exciting things lay ahead in the future. Now, it´s time for me to take a step back and let you shine. I hope your dreams make you smile even brighter and take you to the most special places your heart has ever known.

I will end my speech with a quote by Mark Twain, the American author, “Throw your bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Thank you”

 

Written: December 12, 2020 (Class of 2020, you will be missed.)

Photo: Meire Marion

Photo: Reinaldo

Photo: Meire Marion

SPREAD LOVE

 My soul bleeds

My heart's broken

All I can do is weep

With the news that awoke me

 

Why was he attacked?

Why was he killed?

Why didn´t anyone stop this heartless act?

Unbelievable but sadly so real

 

Words fail me!

We are all created the same

Must stop all this atrocity

It´s 2020, how insane!

 

Racism is still around

How come the world hasn't changed?

For no reason people are held to the ground

Feeling so much pain

 

Why do bystanders silence themselves?

Stand up for each other!

Stop this hell!

Help one another!

 

SPREAD LOVE

SPREAD LOVE

SPREAD LOVE

 

Written: November 20, 2020

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The Remains Crumble in the Ashtray

 

William O´Dole was a highly respected doctor by society and his family. He was the first surgeon to have ever transplanted a dog´s heart into a human being’s body successfully. This event made him well known worldwide.

However, in the last couple of months, Doctor O´Dole had been going through a dilemma.

It all happened on the 14th of July. Dr. O´Dole was at his office attending a patient when suddenly a woman carrying a child, which looked as if it had fainted, came stomping angrily into his office.

The woman howled, “you murderer you killed my baby!”

Dr. O´Dole was perplexed. How could he have killed this woman's daughter if he couldn't even remember who the lady was?

“You must be mistaken Madam. I don't know who you are”, said the doctor shaking like a leaf .

“Oh, don't give me that crap! You killed her! Do you need more proof than this?” She shoved a sheet of paper into his face. It was a prescription with his name printed across the top and his signature at the bottom right hand corner.

“What's this?” he asked.

“My, my don't tell me you don't know a prescription when you see one” she angrily answered.

“I can't remember if …”, he started saying when the woman began shouting .

“Someone called the police! He killed my baby! He killed my baby!”

The patients in the waiting room didn't know what was happening and as soon as they heard the woman´s screams they called the police.

In a matter of minutes, Dr. O´Dole´s office was full of police officers, ambulance technicians and worse of all -reporters, at least five of them snapping away. This would be the end of his successful reputation and career.

Dr. O´Dole was taken to the police station and ask thousands of questions.

“Is this your prescription?”

“Is this your handwriting?”

“Is this your signature?”

Of course, all the answers to these questions were yes. But how could this have happened? Dr. O´Dole was speechless.

After being questioned for over 3 hours, Dr. O´Dole was let out on bail. He returned to his office as fast as possible. When he got there, he locked all the doors and disconnected the telephone so that he could think about this matter in peace.

Suddenly he had the idea of checking his files. Now there was some hope because he remembered that he always kept a copy of every prescription in the patients´ files, which were kept in another room. If he had made out a prescription with TT48 (a poison strong enough to kill an elephant) there would be a copy in the file.

As he was walking towards the file cabinet he froze. His arch number one enemy, Dr. Jack Butcher's office light was still on. It was past 8:00 PM and Dr. Butcher usually left the office around 6:00 PM.

Dr. O´Dole and Dr. Butcher had been the best of friends until Dr. became famous. Actually Dr. Butcher had been the one who started experimenting heart transplants, however, he thought that it was a waste of time. So, he asked Dr. O´Dole if he wanted to have a look at it because he had given up the idea. As a result, Dr. O´Dole worked it out and got all the credit for it. Dr. Butcher didn't accept it though.

When Dr. O´Dole reached the filing cabinet, the envelope with the little girl’s prescription was missing. “Where can it be?”, he asked out loud.

As he was going back to his office, he saw Dr. Butcher sitting at his desk. What he saw gave him the creeps. Dr. Butcher was staring at a yellow envelope on his desk (Dr. O´Dole used yellow envelopes for children patients).

Dr. Butcher was just staring at the envelope as if he were a statue. Slowly and with great excitement, he picked up the unopened envelope and set fire to it with a match. With the faint smile on his face, he watched the remains crumble in the ashtray.

Written: March 23, 1990

Note: Another old piece that I found in my drawer. I have decided not to change a word. Perhaps nowadays I would. This is a work of fiction.

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What is a perfect teacher?

 

It does not matter what the subject is or what the students ages are, someone who teaches anything, or anyone can be called a teacher. Nonetheless, to be a perfect teacher you have to be able to help students in other ways besides the simple act of teaching.

With the world changing rapidly the way it is and people living such difficult lives full of problems, it is necessary for a teacher to be some sort of analyst. Students are different one from the other, so it is necessary for the teacher to know how to handle each student and help them overcome their difficulties.

Sometimes the student may be aggressive towards a teacher not because of a personal problem, but because the student may have had a tough and stressful day. Maybe even some family or financial problem. It is obvious that these problems which I have mentioned refer to adults more than to children.

When it comes to children, things tend to complicate a bit. It is harder to win a child's respect. Some children are capable of doing really terrible things. For instance, I read once about a boy who urinated on some exam papers that were on top of the teacher´s desk. Eventually the teacher got really angry and threw him out of the room. Later when the teacher had a talk with his parents, she found out that he came from a very rich family and he was beaten up every day. In spite of this, he loved his parents, but they only gave him attention when he did something wrong. So, the teacher came to the conclusion that he had done what he did just to call her attention.

In my opinion, a teacher has to be: an educator; an analyst a mother and a father; a friend and most of all the teacher has to have in mind that students have to be respected too and then they can also teach the teachers something .

For a teacher to be perfect it takes a lot of time, patience and experience. Reading about human behavior can help too. Teacher workshops where a teacher can share experiences are also helpful.

If one really loves what one does, it is not so difficult to become perfect.

 

Written: May 11 ,1990

Note: I found this text in my draw and decided to post it here. As I was typing it, I realized that I would change a lot of words. However, I decided to keep it the way it was written .

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WHY?

 

WHY                             JEALOUSY?

ARE                                  AND

THERE                             ENVY

PEOPLE                           RAGE,

WHO                                THEIR

INSTEAD        TO             WITH

    OF             TEND         DOWN

CHEERING    THEY          YOU

    YOU             ON,          BRING

                             

 

                                                           THE                                                    WHY

                                                           WORLD                                               NOT

                                                           IS                                                         CHEER

                                                           A                                                          ON

                                                           BIG                                                     ANOTHER 

                                                           HOUSE            THEREFORE,              HUMAN

                                                           WHERE                                               BY

                                                           THERE                                                SUPPORTING

                                                           IS                                                        THEM

                                                           ENOUGH                                             IN

                                                           ROOM                                                 REALIZING

                                                           FOR                                                    THEIR

                                                           EVERYONE.                                         DREAMS?

 

                                                                                                                                                    JEALOUSY.                                          FOR

                                                                                                                                                    HATE.                                                  EVERYONE!

                                                                                                                                                    NEGATIVE                                           LET´S

                                                                                                                                                    VIBES.                                                 POP

                                                                                                                                                    THE                                                     OPEN

                                                                                                                                                    WORLD                                               THE

                                                                                                                                                    IS                                                        CHAMPAGNE

                                                                                                                                                    BIG                                                      AND

                                                                                                                                                    ENOUGH                   OUR                  TOAST

                                                                                                                                                                                      FELLOW

                                                                                                                                                                                      HUMAN

                                                                                                                                                                                            AND

                                                                                                                                                                                      SUPPORT

                                                                                                                                                                                           THEM

                                                                                                                                                                                           IN

                                                                                                                                                                                      WHATEVER

                                                                                                                                                                                      DREAMS

                                                                                                                                                                                       THEY

                                                                                                                                                                                        MAY

                                                                                                                                                                                         HAVE!

WHY?

WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE WHO INSTEAD OF CHEERING YOU ON THEY TEND TO BRING YOU DOWN WITH THEIR RAGE, ENVY AND JEALOUSY?

THE WORLD IS A BIG HOUSE WHERE THERE IS ENOUGH ROOM FOR EVERYONE. THEREFORE, WHY NOT CHEER ON ANOTHER HUMAN BY SUPPORTING THEM IN REALIZING THEIR DREAMS?

JEALOUSY. HATE. NEGATIVE VIBES. THE WORLD IS BIG ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE! LET´S POP OPEN THE CHAMPAGNE AND TOAST OUR FELLOW HUMAN AND SUPPORT THEM IN WHATEVER DREAM THEY MAY HAVE!

PS. If you see it on the computer, it looks like the letters WHY but via cell , the Y is all messed up. :(

Written : November 8, 2020

Watercolor by Meire Marion

 

A Little Girl Who Wanted to Become a Writer

 

Every afternoon she would go for a walk in the park. It was perhaps one of her favorite places and since she lived right next-door, her mother allowed her to go there by herself.

She would always take a book with her and sit in her favorite spot to read. It was a small wooden bench that wasn´t big enough for another person, just one at a time. When it was taken, she would walk around the lake until the occupant left.

Sometimes she would read stories that would take her to other places and hours would go by. Books were her greatest passion. Not always did her parents give her money to buy a book, but she used her library card well. She loved it when her father used to drive her to the library. The smell of those books made her happy. There were weeks when she would take more than one book and though she was young, she did read fast. If she really liked the story, she would borrow it several times until new books arrived.

There were days when after reading she would just close the book and contemplate the trees, the flowers, the birds, the people going by; everything around her. What a privilege it was to be there and appreciate the surroundings.

Every morning before going to school, she would open her little notebook and write. She would write down dialogues she had heard in the park; dreams she had dreamt; news reports dad had mentioned; or just thoughts that popped up in her head. It was a daily routine.

Her childhood dream was to become a writer. In her heart she did not care for the fame and the fortune, but she wanted her ideas and fantasies to be printed out so that future generations could share them and enjoy them.

Whenever she finished a book in the park that she had bought with her allowance, she would leave it on the bench so that someone else who came along would find it and relish the adventure. She did this unless it was a book that she really loved and wanted to reread it. She was aware that for a person to pick it up could take a while to happen, therefore she would put it in a plastic bag and seal it tightly so the weather wouldn't ruin it.  This filled her heart with delight. Sometimes she even walked around a bit just to see the face of that fortunate some one who would find the paperback she had left behind. It was a great feeling.

Hope, perseverance, and resistance against criticism towards her dreams keeps her going towards making a difference in the world. She knows that one day her dream will come true. Until then, she will just keep on writing.

Written: November 6, 2020

Watercolor by Meire Marion