The Baby Boy No One Wanted

 

Nobody wanted him. He needed special care. Adopting a child who had a stroke when he was born, leaving him without movement of the right arm is a challenge itself, let alone knowing what other health issues he could have due to the fact that his mother was addicted to drugs during the time she was pregnant.

On a rainy afternoon he was found on the steps of the orphanage wrapped in a dirty blanket. It seems as if his mother had given birth to him on the streets. She was under no condition to raise this child. The effects of the drugs that she had been using would not allow her to figure out whether or not she could do so. Therefore, her companions took the baby while she was tripping and left him there.

As soon as the head caretaker found the baby, she took him to the nearest hospital to see how severely injured the child was. This little guy appeared to be tremendously cherubic, his cry was very faint, and no one thought he would make it without medical care.

Since this date, a year and a half has gone by. If one day you decide to visit the orphanage, you will see this bright little child smile as he walks around the back yard chasing a soccer ball. Who knows, perhaps Santa will answer his wishes and a loving family will fall in love with him.

 

Written: December 12, 2024

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The Frightened Two-year-old

 

Off the airplane she came wearing a simple light blue dress, pigtails fastened with white ribbons, holding on tightly to the hands of a woman she had met a week ago. Fear was the look on her precious little face. Although she had been born in this country, she was found near her mother's body in the woods of a small city in Panama. How she survived the two nights alone - no one will ever know. Why whoever murdered her mom did not murder the daughter too- we will never know. If she saw how her mother was murdered, we will never know.  Simply because she is only two years old.

The woman holding onto her hand, which she never let go of, works for the Brazilian government located in Panama. Whoever found the girl and the mother's body also found their documents on her that was written that she was born in Sao Paulo. However, her mother, to be more exact her mother and her were escaping and trying to cross the border into the US for a better life perhaps to live the American dream. No one knows the accurate reasons for the young girl cannot say, not that she cannot talk, in fact she speaks Portuguese with a Spanish accent. Perhaps, she is traumatized by what happened.

As they are in the cab riding to the foster home where she will stay until they find her father or her grandparents, who allegedly live in Sao Paulo, the government worker informs the foster mother that is going to stay with her for a few days so that she doesn't feel totally abandoned again twice in the same month. For, in a few days, the hand - that – she – held – tightly - to would be going back to Panama.

What's to become of this young girl's life? Only the future will tell. If they find her father or the alleged father, they will have to do a DNA test to confirm the information and see whether or not he can afford to raise this child as his own; if he wants to; if he doesn’t, they'll ask the grandparents the same thing. If they do not want to raise her or cannot afford to do so, then she will be put up for adoption. All of this could have traumatized this little two-year-old. So much pain and suffering at such an early age. One thing is for sure, all of this will make her stronger and survive the times.

Written: December 6, 2024

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An End to Another Year

 

Lately I´ve been questioning why on Earth are people in such a hurry these days. It seems like they are running wild across the clock. Crazy people stuck in traffic jams, driving wild and causing accidents, being trapped at the exit of malls due to Christmas shopping. It is total madness. It´s as if the world is coming to an end and no stone should be left unturned because you won´t have the time to do it in 2025.

As you may well know from previous texts, I am a high school teacher and here in Brazil the school year starts in February and ends in December. Therefore, my colleagues and I are struggling to finish grading papers, closing grades and just getting class plans done each day. (reminder: students are tired too and dealing with a tired adolescent is not an easy task). Not to mention the evening presentations which shorten our sleep and recharging time.

I must stop here and write about the cases of burnout which hit teachers around the end of October. I have been hit. I´ve been dealing with leg issues and cannot climb up or down the stairs, nor drive (my car is not automatic). Taking a cab to and from work every day can be expensive. Getting up from a chair is an activity within itself. All due to the fact that, I ´ve been trying to get all my dues in and have left out the most important thing: exercise and sleep.

Money and exhaustion are the downsides. The good aspects are that I have been asking a cab driver I know to become my personal driver, and we have been bonding. (He is the best friend of my “son” – a close friend´s son whom I consider as my son). I’ve known this driver for the past 12 years, however, now we talk all the way to and from places. It makes being stuck in traffic easier to bear. I help him financially and he helps me by having someone I can trust pick me up at odd hours and feel safe.

Not only do I teach. I have also joined a few groups of writers. They keep me occupied with meetings, contests, reading and writing. Gatherings for book launching or debates. It is a lot of work that brings me pleasure, nonetheless.

This month I´ll be launching two new books for children in Portuguese. I will also be part of a collection of poetry. To be honest, not just one, around five of them. I have also been interviewed by a journalist from the South of Brazil which can be viewed on YouTube. It was a wonderful experience and am proud of everything I have accomplished in the world of writing. The interview lasted around 90 minutes. Rewatching it, I thought that it was natural, as if I were talking to a friend about the literary side of me.

Some stress throughout the year, has come from other people. People who you depend on to get the work done, mostly from the groups I belong to. If everyone did their part, it would be smooth sailing. But I guess that life is full of obstacles that you need to face. Life carries on.

It thrills me to be counting down for the first day of vacation. I feel like a child waiting for Christmas morning to look under the tree and see what Santa has left me. So, as of now, 13 days to go and counting to slowing down and recharging my battery.

 

Written: December 5, 2024

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Sitting, Waiting, Observing

 

 Waiting for an Uber to arrive, I started staring at the fountain that is in the middle of the square passed the entrance to my building. The condominium is named Piazza Della Fontana which means the square of the fountain. Extremely sophisticated I should add, since I do not live in one of the sophisticated neighborhoods of the city. Nonetheless, it is a pretty building.

It is relaxing to watch the water fall from one level to the next and sometimes you can also watch the birds bathing and its waters. On this early morning there are no birds. The bathing happens towards the middle of the day when the weather is warmer, and the sun is shining brightly in the sky illuminating the fountain.

It has been a while since I have seen birds take a bath there. Guess that it´s due to the fact that the temperatures are out of control. The weather at midday must be excruciating hot, enough to cook the birds instead of showering them.

 

Written: October 10, 2024

Photo: Meire Marion

 

 Thank God My Brakes Were Working

As I was driving to work this morning, a bit tired and drowsy, however, under the speed limit, two cars suddenly stopped in an area where cars do not usually stop. I swerved my car to the left, checking my mirror and luckily, I was able to avoid hitting them. Nonetheless, they took advantage of my move and followed. They just needed to get to the other side, not just one lane but two lanes across. My heart almost stopped when another car in front of me came to a full stop. I stepped on my brakes and said a little prayer. My car swerved to the left a bit, but I managed to control it. Thank God. The driver who caused all of this went by, stuck his hand out the window in a sign of apology. Meanwhile I was cursing and being grateful at the same time, if that is even doable.

This definitely woke me up.

Written: September 17, 2024

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Wake Up People!!!

Wake Up People!!!

 

This morning when I stopped at the station for gas, there was a young man complaining about the rain. While I was grateful for the rain, he wasn´t, which is ok. However, it made me wonder whether or not this young man was aware of the times we are living and how important the rain is. We are going through a dry spell and 60% of the country is burning. Criminal wildfires have been ignited and due to the drought in some areas, literally the country is burning up and this huge metropolis is suffering from the ashes that are polluting our air.

Perhaps looking outside the box, we can see that while our country is in flames, the rest of the world is also fighting against some natural disaster.

In Europe, it isn´t even fall yet and there are some places where it is snowing. While in other areas there are floods.   In Taiwan, a powerful Typhoon. Earthquakes in Japan. In Brazil, high temperatures during the winter. (I will not list all of them for I am getting blue…)

Wake up people! Earth is sick and it is getting rid of its biggest disease – us humans!

What kind of future will our children have. Let´s take care of the planet it has given us so much beauty, water, fresh air. Mother Nature is tired. It pains me to see so much devastation. There is still time to reverse this situation. Or is there?

Written: September 17, 2024

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IT GOT ME

 

Feeling fine, just a sore throat coming on. Wednesday afternoon. Day off on Thursday, woke up feeling strange. Lightheaded. Tipsy, perhaps. Still met up with a friend for coffee. Got home, showered, had a bit then hit the sack. Woke up at 1am and couldn´t fall back asleep. Alarm went off. Sent a message and lesson plan. Not fit to go into work. Needed to sleep. No voice whatsoever.

Next day, still no voice; head pounding as if a whole percussion band was rehearsing in my head; runny nose; congested sinus. No fever. No intestinal issues. Took a covid test. POSITIVE. Two dark lines. Since 2020, never had there been two lines. This was the first time I had caught it, better yet, it caught me.

Back to wearing a mask. Isolation. Incase of fever or lack of breath – ER. Drink lots of water.

How could this have happened? Felt like a complete failure. First semester dengue and now, second semester COVID. Until now I had managed to avoid getting it or it getting me.

These days people think that covid it something of the past. Therefore, they do not get tested any longer and think it is just a simple cold. It is still out there and it will be part of our list of diseases we need to watch out for.

OH BROTHER!!!!

Written: August 30, 2024

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Sometimes OR Most of the times?

 

Sometimes I cannot grasp why I am in certain gatherings.

Sometimes I feel decisions have been made before consulting the team.

Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water; drowning,

Trying to stay afloat amidst ideas that are spewed into my ears.

Sometimes egos try to step all over the meek souls of the open-minded.

Belittling people should be an Olympic sport.

I can think of a large number that would get a gold medal.

Egos berating me for being just and ethical.

Casting aside these inflated egos.

Withdrawing into myself digging deep for an answer.

Retiring into myself and searching for my sanity.

Sounding the depths which my life has its foundation.

Finding a safe harbor in my essence.

 

Written: August 5, 2024

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Death Is What She Thinks About

 

Death is what she contemplates.

She cries out for everyone to hear.

Deep down inside, it is life that she desires.

 

So much agony.

So much hurt.

So much confusion.

 

Death is what she announces.

At night she cries to stop the anguish.

Her heart bleeds for those who have parted.

 

So much despair.

So much distress.

So much gloom.

 

Death is on her mind.

She cannot recognize how much it pains her loved ones.

They are mystified and tied not knowing what to do.

 

Written: July 7, 2020 (during the pandemic)

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When you know if you have been watching too many criminal shows…

 

Living in a city, or shall I say, a big metropolis where the criminal rate is pretty high, one is aware of one´s surroundings, especially in my case. After having dated police detective who taught me a lot of things during our relationship, for instance turn off the light the automatic light in your car , the panel light that turns on when you open the door , turn it off especially if you're a woman because at night a criminal will not be able to see if you are a woman ,if you're vulnerable, if you're alone because then it's dark so there's no guarantee the thief will see you. Also, as soon as you get in your car, turn it on and just leave do not check your phone, do not put on makeup, in the end do not spend time in your car on the street at all. When you are reaching the traffic light, it is always best to be in the middle lane because if there is a criminal he will probably attack the outer lanes and you will have enough time to escape. Another thing is: always be aware of what is happening around you. He carried a couple of guns on him, I am not going to tell you where, but since he was detective, he didn't have the appropriate gun carrier like the police. You know that gun carrier they wear around their waists. He used to keep one in his pants like detectives do or police when they are off duty. Due to that, he did have some issues with the nerves in his right leg. He would always make me rush getting in and out of the car. At restaurants, he would always sit facing the door just in case some shooter came in One day I asked him what he would do if that happened he said first he would push me to the ground, like literally throw me off my seat , take out his gun and shoot the guy. Thank God that never happened, however he never walked me to my car door, but he always kept guard and said go after unlocking it automatically. Afterwards, he would run to his side, get in and just drive off. He said he was showing me how to get in and out of my car. Easier said than done because nowadays my car fuel is alcohol, and you have to heat it up before you can drive away. Especially if it has been parked in a place where it has been sitting for a couple of hours. All this police training is what ruined our relationship. It was getting tiring, too much stress. It was starting to freak me out. I usually imagine that I am surrounded by ugly angel warriors and that makes me feel safe.

However, I do love criminal shows like CSI, Law and Order, Law and Order SVU, Criminal minds, just to mention a few. I watched them all and I watched the reruns as well. It is pretty thought-provoking.

Nonetheless, I think from watching too many of these programs and having been in that relationship, it´s start to take a toll on me.

This morning, I was leaving the garage when I noticed a car coming up the street very slowly. I usually wait until the garage gate is lowered. Not everybody does that, which they should, to avoid criminals from getting into the building. In addition to this, the gate remote does have a panic button that you should push then the door attendant automatically presses a button that alerts the police to come to the building. As the car approached the building, I waited but I managed to leave in front of it. I was followed almost all the way to the highway that I have to get to come to school. It would not have got my attention if it had not been for the fact that I stopped twice to check my phone because somebody had sent me a message and being that it was around 6:00 AM, these messages must have been important, so I had to check my phone. I pulled over, turned on the signal lights because I was going to park for a little while and then it did the same. I did this twice and so did the driver. At the time I thought of what the chances were of that driving having to stop twice just as I did. I really do not know. I ended up sending voice messages to accelerate the process. Anyhow it came to a point where I decided that it would be best for me slow down to see if he would pass me. He did. I started thinking perhaps it was just a coincidence. It made me wonder.

Written: July 26, 2024

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A Thing of the Past

Enjoy driving? I would have to answer yes and no to that question. I guess I used to enjoy it much more when I was younger. Nowadays, driving at night stresses me out a bit because my eyes are tired. However, on the road, I like to ride like the wind, although my car is too old for that.

The other day I was driving home from work while the sun was going down and noticed that there were some weirdos behind the wheels. It didn´t dawn on me immediately why people were driving in such a crazy manner. Suddenly, it hit me like a baseball bat – long holiday weekend.

I noticed that the bigger and the fancier the car no turning signals were used. Several motives for that reason filled my mind. Perhaps it was just a thing with fancy cars and they came out of the dealership without it. Signal lights is a thing of the past. Does that mean that when I get a new car, I won´t need to signal?

Written: June 10, 2024

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Why are you wearing a mask?

 

 

Cold? Flu? Dengue? Covid? There is so much in the air nowadays that when you do not feel well, you need to be tested for everything.

Two Saturdays ago, I started with a sore throat that ended up in my sinus canals (if that is what they are called). Anyhow, I took all the tests and it turns out that I just had the common cold, which goes to prove that my immune system is down still due to dengue.

Staying home was not a problem, the issue was going to work. I only work 3 days a week now (heading towards retirement) therefore, one those 3 days I wore a mask. Mind you, I am not the only one with who was wearing a mask. There were staff members and students too.

Many people asked me what the matter was. I answered that I had a cold and now that I am older, I spit when I talk, so I did not want to spread my germs around unlike some people who just sneezed and you could see all those little killer-drops floating in the air.

I am still not completely over my cold, but at least now I won´t contaminate anyone.

Let´s protect one another. Wear a mask when necessary!

Written: June 10, 2024

 

Me

Daniel, the drugstore Attendant

 A big bright smile on his face is how he greets people as they walk in the drugstore. Always politely asking if he can be of any service. Many people say no thank and then he kindly answers thank you! Smiling always.

I thought it was generous of the drugstore to have given him a job since he was slower than the regular attendants when speaking and walking. It was heartwarming to be welcomed into the drugstore with such thoughtfulness.

His name is Daniel. How do I know? To my surprise, the cashier asked him to attend to the next customer at the cash register, who happened to be me, and I read his name tag.

He tried to type in my medication to no avail. He made the same mistake three times. Every time apologizing for his mistake, but curiously saying my name first. At the nearby register people were being attended quickly. I was in no hurry.

Finally, the manager came over and helped Daniel a bit. At the end, he said my name, thanked me and especially thanked me for my patience.

I left the store smiling.

Written: June 5, 2024

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A Poetess?

Speculating whether I am a poetess;

Some shun my openness,

Others acclaim my outspokenness.

Poetry is a means of not being motionless.

 

Some words used are habitus,

While they may strike hearts dolorous.

Adjectives, nouns and verbs quite riotous,

Releasing the bound up inner quietness.

 

My roaring inner lioness

By no means becoming a prophetess,

Liberating innermost feelings gratuitous,

Nonetheless a task which is onerous.

 

Hitherto wondering whether I am a poetess.

 

Written: June 2, 2024

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Cell Phone Dementia

Did you know there are some syndromes / diseases that affect the elderly nowadays due to technology?

After researching, I discovered the following:

People with psychotic disorders have trouble staying in touch with reality and often cannot handle daily life. The most obvious symptoms are hallucinations (seeing or hearing things that are not real) and delusions (believing things that aren’t true, even when they get the facts).

Television dementia, mostly the elderly, when an elderly person talks to the tv as if the person on the screen were real. Nowadays this also happens with the use of the cell phones. Instead of sending a message, they talk to the picture or the person in the video and believe that the person is live listening to everything they are saying.

I wasn´t aware of this until a friend of mine said her uncle, in his late 80´s, told her he was dating a young girl named Aline who was a hard working young girl and they would talk all day long, which meant she never left the cell phone, didn´t drink water, didn´t eat or even go to the ladies room. He had sent my friend audios telling her the whole story about how he was worried about Aline´s health since she never left the cell phone.

My friend then decided to share the information with her cousin who took the cell phone away from her father. Actually, she just deleted the apps he was using so that he wouldn´t see the girl any longer and eventually forget about her.

When this happened, he sent my friend an audio crying that Aline had died. He knew it would happen because her health was very fragile. He couldn´t believe that the second love of his life (the first one was his wife who had passed 18 years prior to this event) had died. He was going to propose to her.

Some time went by when he sent another audio saying how happy he was that Aline had come back from the dead like Lazurus from the Bible. He had prayed so hard that his prayers were answered. He had asked God to raise her from the dead like God had done in the Bible.

My friend couldn´t believe her ears. She reported it to her cousin who tried to take his phone away, but he had hidden it so she wouldn´t find it. In his last audio to my friend, the uncle had mentioned that he was now dating two girls. He was super happy and had his hands full.

Time went by. My friend always sent him messages, however, he never answered. Desperate to find out what was going on, she called her cousin. The cousin said that she had questioned him about it, and he simple answered that he talked to my friend every day. She was always smiling back at him when he told her about his love life. My friend became a figure stuck in the cell phone just like Aline and his other girlfriend.

I wouldn´t have believed this was true if I hadn´t heard the audios myself. I had no idea that this happened. So, beware when you catch an elderly family member or friend talking to the tv. It could be the start of something more serious.

Written: May 8, 2024

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Just a thought - Medieval times

 

Living in medieval times must have been easier than these days. Albeit sometimes there are events which lead us to believe we are still in that era. People killing, people dying for futile reasons – power. I am not going to get into any details, but the feeling is that in medieval times people killed and people died for loyalty, family, and love, not just power.

Written: April 21, 2024

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A Strange Day

 

After two weeks bedridden due to the bite of a white - striped mosquito. Feeling much better, decided it was time to leave the shelter.

Luckily, the car did not stall.

Cautiously driving to the produce market as the rain fell, pitter-patter, on the window shield.

It felt refreshing seeing all those colorful fruits and vegetables as my appetite was slowly returning.

Afterwards as the rain poured heavier, a quick stop at the pet shop. No need for an umbrella, getting wet wouldn't be such a bad thing, would it?

Check my bag for my plastic money but to no avail, it was gone. Had it been forgotten at the market?

After a thorough check of the grocery bags, I decided to go back to the market.

The rain was still coming down harder and harder. The cashier said that nothing had been left behind and suggested I check the grocery bags. Double checking would be appropriate because sometimes things disappear for a few seconds.

As I walked to the trunk of the car, I noticed a shiny blue card holder on the floor behind the passenger seat. How did it get there? I will never know. The good thing is that I had found it.

Maybe I should have just stayed home.

Written March 23, 2024

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Dengue

 

What a horrible disease to get! One bite from mosquito – bang! Fever, pain, cold sweats, tiredness, lack of appetite, lack of motivation, headache, eye ache, aches all over!

After an entire day of sleep, high fever, best go to the ER Afterall, there are so many diseases floating around this tropical air.

After four hours waiting with no place to sit due to the crowd, the doctor examines you and the blood work comes out positive for dengue. Four liters of water. In case of fever take Tylenol. Loads of rest.

Two weeks seemed like two months. Every 48 hours go to the ER for blood work to see the red cell count. Only after eight days did mine start to rise.

What a relief to hear those words from the doctor! Depending on the patient, recovery can take months and if you get it once, does not mean you will not get it again.

Beware!

Written March 23, 2024

Goolge Images- Dengue mosquito

A Vase Being Molded

 

 

Who am I?

 

A question profound,

A mystery waiting to be found.

In the depths of my soul, a story untold.

A tapestry of colors, both bright and bold.

 

Who am I?

 

I am the echo of my ancestors.

A blend of cultures, a mix of beliefs.

I am the dreamer with hopes unfolded,

A seeker of truths in a changing world.

 

Who am I?

 

A woman who is strong and weak, loved and hated;

Extraverted and shy; outspoken and quiet.

A mature female fighting to be heard, seen, appreciated,

In a patriarchal world.

 

Who am I?

 

Constant development.

Incessant adjustment.

Ceaseless revision.

Nonstop transformation.

Everlasting metamorphoses.

 

Who am I?

 

Adapting to this roller coaster day in, day out

Amending into the novelties thrown my way.

Opening my mind and heart to the river so deep.

Surrendering to the wisdom of age in hope of deliverance.

 

Who am I?

 

A simple clay vase being molded

On this pottery wheel entitled life.

 

 

Written: April 11, 2024

 

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Drugs? Bullying? …?

 

Have you ever seen shoes handing from light, telephone wires and thought why they are there?

The act of “shoe tossing” - in which shoes are tied together by their laces and thrown across power lines - is considered by some to be a folk sport. Everyone has seen it, yet no one really knows what the shoes symbolize or why shoe tossing happens in the first place.

There are many reasons or legends why there are shoes hanging from wires. The most popular one being bullying. According to some urban folks, bullies steal the shoes off their victims and toss them on the wires, where they cannot be retrieved.

Popularly, shoes on a telephone wire are said to be linked to organized crime, signifying the location of gang turf, or commemorating the death of a gang member. They are also rumored to commemorate an event, like the end of a school year or a wedding. The shoes are also rumored to mark a spot for drug deals.

Perhaps all of these reasons are true to some extent, however, I saw a bicycle way up high and wondered what they were selling at that spot. What do you suppose it is?

Written: February 25, 2024

Photo: Personal file ( Meire Marion)

 

 

 

Cida, Maria Aparecida

 

Gray hair, needs to use a crutch, and always wears a cloth mask to protect her from the bacteria floating in the air – every morning she stands at the corner on an extremely intersection.

She smiles when she approaches your car window and smiles, which can be seen in her eyes since she has the mask on. There are some days when she is not there or perhaps it is I who am too early to catch her there.

This morning, I woke up with a strong feeling that I needed to help her out. You see, usually I don´t. There are several reasons for that but nonetheless she always smiles and waves hello or goodbye depending on the traffic light. When I do help her, it is with small change, but today I felt I could give her a substantial amount for her to buy whatever she needed.

As I was driving towards the intersection, I had decided to check my instincts. If she were there, I was supposed to help her, if not, it was just an illusion.

The light was red and there she was. My heart smiled. I called her over, rolled down my car window, said good morning and handed her the folded bill.

With tears in her eyes, she looked at me and asked me whether she deserved that much. I simply said yes. Found out her name was Cida, Maria Aparecida. The light turned green. As I started to drive off, she thanked me and yelled “God bless you”. Little does she know that I was feeling blessed.

Written: February 23,2024

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Persistence

 

Almost stillborn. Grew up alone and lonely. Perhaps due to body size which did not fit in with the social patterns. Shamed by peers through name calling, finger pointing and laughter. At times the height and glasses were also included in the act. When puberty hit, it all got worse right up to the point in which giving up this journey was her best choice. Fortunately, there were some close friends who were quick to the rescue. Friends who went through the same experience but for other reasons. Being extremely intelligent and introverted, the local library gave her the empowerment she needed to persist placing one foot in front of the other.

February 7, 2024 (This short text came to my mind during a workshop at work where we needed to choose a picture and tell others how we related to it.)

photo: taken by me

The Fallen

 

For the past 3 months, the mall at the beach was his place of investigation. He would go there after work hours even though he had lost his job when he started this and walk around until 10 pm when the guards went around asking everyone to leave. He never bought anything. How could he? He there was no pay check coming in only the piles of bills. Sure, he was in his early 30s and would probably find another job, but he messed up really bad and there was no way this last company would give him a letter of recommendation. There was only one way to relieve himself from this situation – jumping.

He had read articles about why people decide to die by suicide and for sure his family, especially his ex-fiancée, would find it difficult to imagine the reason – the would be no letter. It would be quick. It had to be.

While he was researching about suicide, he came across an article that read that the most common mental health condition behind a person's decision to die by suicide is severe depression. Depression can make people feel high levels of emotional pain and loss of hope, making them unable to see any other way to find relief than ending their own life. Another reason a person may decide to take their own life is when facing a loss or the fear of a loss. When people have lost all hope and don't feel able to change this hopelessness, it can overshadow all of the good things in their life, making suicide seem like a viable option. If a person has chronic pain or illness with no hope of a cure or reprieve from suffering, suicide may seem like a way to regain dignity or control of their life. Of all of these reasons losing his job and feeling like a failure was his biggest reason. He wasn´t depressed, he had lost all hope.

How could he marry this sweet lovely woman and provide for the future family if he had nothing to bring to the table?

His mind was set. For three months he stayed at the mall pretending to be at work. He checked how the mall closed and when the guards reached the 4^th floor to make sure everyone had left. There were some places the guards did not bother to look at and he could hide there. Around 10 pm he could put his plan into action.

While on the 4^th floor he would look down and see that he would have to jump aiming towards the coffee shop. It was the lowest level which made the 4^th floor turn into the 5^th.

The day had arrived. The mall speakers announced closing time. All the stores were shutting closing for the day. The guards were on the way up. Smoothly he placed his slim body over the railing. He stopped for a second and noticed a pretty young girl wiping the tables at the coffee shop. He didn´t want to traumatize her, but he had no choice.

As the guards yelled and ran towards him, he let go.

 

Written: January 21, 2024 (based on a true story, however, the reason why is a work of fiction)

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The Fall

 

It had been only two days since she had moved from the countryside to a beach town. Her lucky stars were shining bright like diamonds because today was her very first day at her new job. Never in a million years would she imagine finding a job on her very first day in this quaint but busy beach town.

She would work the afternoon shift (3 pm to 10 pm) in this busy café in the busiest mall of the city, which was rated to serving the best coffee in the city. In the morning she would be able to go for a walk along the shore, prepare a nice healthy lunch and then get ready for work. She really enjoyed working with people and loved the smell of freshly brewed coffee so this would be a piece of cake. (pun intended)

Since she had found herself a job, she would now be able to rent a small room for herself. Her aunt had invited her to stay with them until she had found a job. What a lucky girl! Her family was very proud of her and promised to go to the coffee shop after she had gotten used to the work.

First day on the job, she did splendidly and the customers seemed to be pleased. Her boss was happy with her and praised her during the day. At 10 pm the mall closed, she and her co-workers needed to clean up. She was cleaning the tables while some were in the kitchen and others the counter of leftover sweets and savory food – the boss let them take some home.

She was wiping off the tables and removing the sugar and condiment holders when she heard a loud thump behind her and a terror movie scream from a co-worker at the counter of sweets. She slowly turned around and lying in the middle of the café there was a corpse. A man in his 30´s had jumped.

No wonder she was able to get this job. It was very common for people to take their lives here, therefore, those who knew this fact refused the graveyard shift (pun intended). A shiver ran up her spine. She looked up and noticed that above the café there were five stories of stores. The man must have hidden and jumped from the last floor before security had done their rounds.

Sadly, she walked home wondering why some one would take their lives like that.

 

Written: January 17, 2024 (based on a true story)

Google Image ( It is the actual coffee shop
 - in the hole at the bottom- at the mall
where people have taken their lives)