Venting

Today I woke up in so much pain. Every joint and muscle in my body ached, besides the burning sensation that normally comes from my legs. It felt like my whole body was being put through a minced meat machine. This is so mind boggling, for if doctors cannot figure out what is wrong with me, what is triggering this discomfort? At least I am awake and able to move. I do thank God for this every morning. I have read that there are people who feel so much paint hat they end up losing their walk because it hurts so much for them to put their feet on the ground.

Today it took me half an hour to get out of bed. I gave the usual commands, but the head pain was overwhelming. I managed to sit up; nonetheless, I needed to stretch despite the aches and painful stiffness.

Slowly I did and went to prepare my morning coffee.  This morning I was moving as if I was being filmed in slow motion. So slow that I delayed my morning routine and had to cancel my physiotherapy session. At least I got to speak to my therapist who gave me some stretching tips. She also agreed with me that driving today would not be recommended especially because my car is not automatic but stick shift, which is good for the exercise.

I do not moan, I do not groan, I do not cry nor do I scream although all of these actions cross my mind. But then again, what for? Who will hear me? Will it lessen the pain or make it go away? Why waste more energy? So, quietly and slowly I do what I have to do. I use the present tense here because this is on a daily basis; however, today it was stronger than most days.

Deep down inside I know that all if this will disappear one day and until that day comes I walk in faith.

( Written September 11, 2012)

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