Watch What You Say

The other Day I was at a friend’s when her son’s adolescent friend said with so much hatred “All policemen are good for nothing and should burn in hell.” He was referring to a specific policeman who had shot his martial arts teacher for no apparent reason, in his mind; for the newspapers claimed that the victim was carrying drugs and reached into his pocket and they thought he was going to attack them so they shot first. Deep down inside I can understand why he felt this way. He saw the good side of his instructor and death is not something that one naturally understands, especially under these circumstances.

What struck me hard was what he said. He generalized one crucial act and simply classified all other police officers in the same category as the one who shot at the instructor. I, for one, know several police officers who have good character and work in their service to defend others who are not corrupted by the temptations that cross their path. So when I heard him scream out his hate, I was offended.

People have the tendency to generalize everything. We hear things like:  “Teachers are mean. They want to ruin your lives.” “Mother’s are all alike just the addresses change.” “Teens are all rebels without a cause.” “School doesn’t teach you anything.” “Politicians are corrupt.”  I am sure you have heard many others. Just stop and think a moment about how these people feel when they hear one of these phrases. It really hurts, especially if you are not like this at all or you know someone who does not fit the description.

Since the boy’s outburst about the police, I have been thinking about this. I wanted to speak out at the time and tell him about the police officers that I know, but then again, I kept quiet for his rage was so great that perhaps the conversation would have turned into a fight. There are times that we must know when silence is the best remedy. However, I do hope that when his pain lessens, he will be able to rethink that maybe that specific officer is a good for nothing, but not all of them. That also goes for all the other generalizations.

I believe that most arguments start off with a generalization and if taken the wrong way it can start a fight or a greater problem. Simply choose your words before you speak. Think before you speak and if you have nothing to say, just be quiet.

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(Written: September 15, 2012)
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