Can you use these expressions appropriately?

             The other day I was listening to some songs from the 70´s and 80´s ( love that period) when I heard some expressions that made me wonder if EFL students (people who study English as a foreign language) can really grasp the meaning without having experienced living within the culture. I know that I have experienced this when learning Portuguese. Mind you, Portuguese is a really hard language to learn properly and until today some expressions used here in Brazil make no sense to me. Just a small fact: I have been living here since 1982. This, by no means, is not meant to be an academic text (the internet is full of those). It is just a text with a few expressions that I sometimes use and stop wonder whether my students are able to use them.

Here are a few that I believe fit the description above.

Fist of all you have the expressions that are connected to games.

Let´s take a look at a few connected to football.

Monday morning quarter-back = a person who passes judgment on and criticizes something after the event. The term comes from the fact that most American football games are played on Sunday, and it is easy to criticize a quarterback’s decisions in the heat of the moment from the vantage point twelve or more hours after the football game has ended.

The whole nine yards = everything possible or available; in American Football each team must gain ten yards to recycle their possession. Starting at one they have four passages of play in which to do this. Getting from there to the ten-yard line in one play is called "the whole nine yards".

Now let´s take a few that are connected to baseball.

Take a rain check= used to tell someone that you cannot accept an invitation now, but would like to do so at a later time. If a baseball game was cancelled in the 1800´s due to bad weather, the spectators were given a 'raincheck' (a voucher) which meant that they could go back and watch another game.

1^st base, 2^nd base, third base, hit a home run = Generally speaking, first base means snogging/kissing/making out, second base means fondling breasts, third base means genital touching, and a home run means intercourse.

Double whammy = twofold blow or setback; it originated at a baseball game when a broadcaster said that the team seemed like they got a whammy (a curse) because they had fallen behind in the game.

 

Some good expressions to know and that I enjoy using:

Piece of cake = it´s easy

Tell me about it. = I know what you are talking about

Act you age not your shoe size = Stop being a child. This wouldn´t make sense in Brazil because the shoe size here is 35,36,37,38,39,40 and so on. But in the US it´s 5,5 ½ , 6 , 6 ½ and so on. 

9 to 5 = work business hours This also wouldn´t make sense in Brazil because we do not work from 9 to 5. Business hours in Brazil are from 9 to 6.

Break a leg = This expression is used in theater and shows when you want to wish the person a successful performance.

A keeper = some one to marry or never lose

Behind the eight ball = at a disadvantage. This refers to the game of pool.

Working the graveyard shift= a period of work that starts at night and ends early morning. I just like the sound of it. My dad used to work the graveyard shift as a matter of fact when we lived in the US.

Beat around the bush = When you do not go straight to the point. Here is Brazil you are expected to do this. But Americans tend not to beat around the bush.

For the birds = This one is used when something is unimportant. I love saying this one.

My way or the highway = from the 70´s , it means take it or leave it.

Whoops-a-daisy = an exclamation of surprise after a stumble or a fall which has been reduced to oops nowadays

This is the pits = extremely bad. I love this one too. All alternative could be: this sucks.

 

PS. If you get stuck on an expression, use a good dictionary.

Written: August 18, 2020

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IF IT IS YOUR WISH

             Paul and Mary came from an upper - class family in the Southern part of town. The southern part of town from this particular city was one of the wealthiest. They lived in a hot shot apartment that had a gourmet verandah and a small hot tub. Not to mention, that it was the penthouse and it was a three-story one.  Every weekend they threw parties or were invited to parties, but people liked to come over to their place because they really spent money as if it came from an open faucet. They really lived a care-free life.

However, all of that was about to change as if a curse had been casted upon them.

On a gray Monday morning, the intercom rang and Paula and Mary were visited by the Federal Police. Not that they had gotten out of bed to answer the call, the hired help was nervously knocking on their bedroom door to wake them up.

“Paul, what is the meaning of this?” Mary cried as she got dressed.

“I don´t know. There must be a terrible mix up. After all I do have a common name.” Paul replied as he put on his clothes. But deep down inside he knew what was going on but he figured that it would take a few years before it came to this.

“Good morning officers, how can I be of your assistance?” Paul calmly greeted the officers.

“Mr. Silva, I’m afraid that you are under arrest for laundering money and drug dealing.”

Mary fainted. The help tried to catch her but missed by an inch and she hit the floor hard and blood gushed on the white marble floor tile.

“Oh my! Officer Reed call an ambulance! Fast!”

“I am sure that there has been some misunderstanding. I shall go in peace for I have nothing to be afraid of. Does my wife need to come along?” Paul calmly said.

“An ambulance will take your wife to the hospital since her head is bleeding and then she will join you at the precinct. As a matter of fact, she should just take bare necessities because everything you own, as of now, is being confiscated.” replied the officer.

“But without a proper trial? Without a thorough investigation?” Paul protested, but he was crushed. His boss said that if he ever got into trouble matters would be taken care of.

“I am entitled to a phone call, aren´t I?”

“Certainly. You can do that at the station. Please come with us. Office Harth will accompany your wife to the hospital when the ambulance arrives and then to the station. Men, handcuff him and seal off the apartment.”

“Hold on now. Handcuffs? Is that really necessary? I am going quietly.”

“Federal Police procedure sir.”

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A couple of months went by and Paul had been sent to jail without bail and was sentenced to 15 years of prison.

Mary didn´t have immediate family nor distant family and all the friends she thought she had had disappeared like roaches when there is an obstruction in their paths or the so-called friends just didn´t return her calls. She was stuck on the street with nowhere to go. She couldn´t afford to visit her husband in jail and to be honest, she didn´t care to.

Mary´s life got pretty sad and as she walked the streets finding a place to sleep, she thought how miserable and poor she had become and the best thing to do would be to end her life. There was nothing to live for. She had gotten married to Paul at an early age and never really finished her studies. He had money and gave her everything she needed. As she sat under the covering of a store in the pouring rain, she started to plan her death.

It had to be done fast and painless. She could jump in front of a car. She could steal something from one of the other homeless people roaming around like zombies ready to attack each. For sure they would stab or hit her really hard. Another alternative would be going to the subway station waiting for a train to arrive and jumping in front of it. There were also so many bridges in the city for her to jump from. She felt like a big coward and wished she had died that day that she had fainted and cracked her head open on that beautiful penthouse marble floor that she missed all so much.

She didn't notice that an older man sat beside her. She only realized there was somebody there when she smelled the stench.

“Pretty hard rain, isn't it?”  he said.

“If you don't mind, I'd rather be alone.” She answered without looking at him.

“The city streets are really not yours to control, are they?”

“No, they're not, but I got here first and that is one of the rules for us who roam the streets with nowhere to go -  first come first serve.”

“You look like you could use some company. After all killing yourself is not such an easy task, is it?”

“How do you know that I was thinking about ending my life?”

“It's written all over your face.”

“I don't want to be rude or anything, but do you mind sitting somewhere else?”

“You know, I could help you.”

“Help me with what exactly?”

“You know, terminate your life.”

“You mean YOU are going to kill me?”

“Oh no, I wouldn't get my hands dirty, but I know a couple of people who would love to.”

“So, you are going to get me killed?”

“If that is your wish.”

“What's in it for you?”

“Helping others makes me feel better about myself.”

Mary laughed. She couldn't believe that by having her killed this man thought he would be doing a good deed.

“I'm sorry Sir, I would really like to be alone right now.”

“OK, but you're missing up a great chance.”

“I can't believe you. Here I am telling you that I want to take my life and you are encouraging me to do it. A normal human being would try to convince me not to.”

“Yes, you're right, but I'm not a normal human being. I live off the streets. I don't follow any rules and for surely have got nothing to lose. But I do wake up every day and try to help at least one person. As I said before, it makes me feel better about myself.  So, are you going to let me help you or not?”

Mary was so enraged and perplexed by this conversation. She got up walked a little bit towards the curb, lost her balance and slipped. As she was falling into the street, a bus ran her over.

The homeless man ( whom no one else could see)  sitting under the store covering lets out a sigh, claps his hands, smiles and says: “ another good deed!”

Written: August 14, 2020

 

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Rather Be an Elephant Than a Jackass

People can be cruel and especially when the other person is different from them. Bullying is a fact and it has been happening for several years. Due to a weight issue, many children are called little elephants. You can hear them in the school grounds stomping their feet to imitate how an elephant walks when an obese child is walking by. Some people even choose their mates according to body image and ridicule others. Having dealt with weight issues since day one of my life, I speak from experience. 

Mind you, these types of name callings really hurt, and it would be wonderful if they stopped. Everyone is different and bodies come in all different shapes, sizes and colors. Children should be taught to respect these differences at home since day one of childbirth. Nonetheless, let´s take a look at the elephant itself.

Elephants are mammals.  Female elephants, called cows, live together and take care of the other baby elephants called calves if they need to be nurtured. The male elephant, called bulls, can live alone and usually leave the group (family) when they reach puberty, seeking to start their own families. Elephants live near water holes whenever it is possible and are herbivorous, which means they only eat plants, but yet they are big and beautiful. Most animals tend to stay away from them due to their size, however, their predators like lions, tigers, wild dogs tend to attack the calves which are easier to kill because they are smaller. However, calves are almost always surrounded and protects by the older elephants. Elephants can live up to 70 years in the wild. They communicate by touch, sight, smell, and sound. Elephant intelligence has been compared with that of primates and whales and dolphins. They appear to have self-awareness, as well as appearing to show empathy for dying and dead family members. Elephants are also well known for having an amazing memory.

Elephants sound pretty amazing when you come to think of it. You should not be ashamed of your body no matter what size, shape or color. We are all created differently and are unique. Be proud of yourself. If there is something about your body that bothers you and only you, go ahead and make the change. However, do it because of you. I realize that this mindset only comes with maturity. But wouldn´t it be wonderful if humans cared for humans like elephants do?

After having read all these wonderful facts about elephants, I would rather be called an elephant than a jackass.

Written: August 4, 2020

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Today he would have been 34

Six months had gone by since the great day when they exchanged their vows, til death do us part. He was 32 and she was 19. At the time the numbers did not make a difference. Love was grand and life looked promising.

The first six months felt like a long honeymoon. Life was going smoothly right up until the day she had skipped a period. Deep down in her heart she knew that finally her greatest dream would come true in eight months; she would become a mother. She couldn´t wait for the love of her life to come home and share her hunch.

After a love - filled candle lit dinner, she sprang the news on him. He did not have the reaction that she had been hoping for. “But are you sure?” , he asked. To be honest she had not done any tests to really find out, but since she had skipped a period, she could not think of another reason for that, every month her friend would come and go when expected. “I am not sure I can love you if you gain any weight” he added. Her heart skipped a beat. What was he saying? Did she really hear those words? Was she in a dream and soon the alarm clock would go off? No, it was real.

As she was fighting with her thoughts and feeling, she had not noticed that he had gone to the living room to make a call. “My sister is taking you to her gynecologist this week to check.” She took a deep breath and told him that that would be fine although she had already scheduled an appointment with her own. “No, my sister´s is better and she will be able to accompany you.”

A few days went by and her sister-in-law came by on the day of the appointment. Few words were pronounced and by the look on the sister-in-law´s face, she knew something wasn´t right. The office was tiny and cramped. There were two rooms and a bathroom. It just felt so dark and dirty. There were no other patients waiting, which she found strange. Her doctor´s office waiting room was always so packed with patients. How come this office was empty? There wasn´t a nurse and the door locked.

“Come with me, please.”, the doctor called. He asked her to go to the bathroom and change into the hospital gown he had handed over to her. “Please, lie down and try to relax. It´ll be quick. You might feel some discomfort. But in no time, you´ll be up and able to go. “As she heard these words float in the air, she couldn´t make heads or tails of what he was saying. “Excuse me, but I think I am pregnant, should I have a blood test or urine test first.” “Nonsense”, he blurted out and continue to do what he was doing. She felt a lot of pain and he just told her to relax that he was almost done.

Getting up she felt a bit dizzy; she was escorted into the office while her sister-in-law paid him with a blank check that her husband had signed the night before. The sister-in-law let out a tear, but the young girl could not realize why she was sad. Having a baby was supposed to be a joyful event. Why was everyone so miserable? “You should have this sonogram done. In a few days you will release a blood clot and there will be no need to worry.”

During the sonogram, her husband accompanied her. The technician had mentioned that there was a mass in her uterus which might be a baby. Her heart was thrilled, however, the expression on her husband´s face was of terror. She could not make out what was going on. Perhaps of her lack of experience in life, she was only 19.

Towards the end of that week, a huge blood clot came out but she had very painful cramps. She decided to call her mother who took her to her own gynecologist. This gynecologist was the doctor who had assisted her mom´s labor when she was born.

After he had examined her, he told her that she had had a miscarriage. Yes, she was expecting. When she had told him what she had been through, sadly he told her that she should report that other doctor. He had made a huge mistake.

Horrified, she decided to keep all of this to herself. That butcher had not made a mistake. He just did what he had been paid to do.  

Today, he would have been 34.

 

Written: August 2, 2020

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