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Monday, August 10, 2026

3 Hours of My Life - GONE

 


Once a month I have to go and get my mom´s high-cost medication. Our government gives medication to those who cannot afford it. People complain about the country but seem to forget the benefits they receive. There is bureaucracy to getting into the system but it is for everyone and as soon as you get in that is one thing less to worry about. There are developed countries that do not have such a benefit although some people in my country seem to romanticize the idea of living one.

There is an app that you can schedule the time you will pick up the medication; supposedly it is to save time. However, not everyone knows of its existence. Nonetheless you need to arrive 15 minutes prior to the scheduled time and access the app which gives you a number through which you will be called.

Like all the other months, I went and did what was required. My number was 171, but they were still on number 45. As I have been doing this since the beginning of the year – my sister was in charge of doing so before me – I knew I had some time to wait; so, I always took a book with me. Luckily, I found a seat and started reading.

The numbers on the screen slowly turned. In between turning the pages, I started noticing the people around me. Not only are the app people attend there, there are also those who go through the old way: arriving there, getting in line so you can get a number and then awaiting their number to show up on the red screen. I forgot to mention that the app number appears on the green screen.

People there come from all places near and far within the state. Some even bring the disabled or elderly with them, perhaps because there is no one to stay with them, or even because these people get a different number and can be attended sooner.

As I was turning the pages, I started noticing people. There was even a man sitting near me who wanted to talk and asked me a question as soon as he noticed I was turning the page. He asked me about the screens. I politely answered with short sentences and went back to my reading. As soon as the seat beside me was empty, so another person came over and took it not even allowing it to cool off a bit before sitting down.

Number 100, a very young woman carrying a baby sat next to me. The baby kept digging its feet into my thigh, no biggie, I just kept on reading. This woman all of a sudden started screaming at this baby, who clearly had no clue as to what she was saying due to its age. She took out her breast to feed it. The man to my right, who previously wanted to chat, pointed his phone in her direction. I was appalled when I noticed what he was doing. I coughed real loudly and gave him a drop-dead look.  Guess it must have scared him because he immediately put his phone in his pocket.

There were people all around doing their own thing. Some were talking, some were doing so deafeningly, some were trying to talk on their phones with people who apparently couldn´t hear them, some coughed, some listened to their social media video while I simply sat there and read.

When the green screen read 165, I decided to get up due to the pain I was feeling, and walk around a bit. Besides I wanted to reach the teller as soon as his/her number showed up. 

Finally, 171, teller 29. There is a total of 32 tellers to attend everyone. I said good morning and asked why there were so many people. Simple answer as if I should know “The first of the month was a Saturday. We are attending 3 days of people”.

I signed what I needed to sign and headed to the other line where the screen is yellow to await to be called so the medication could be given to me.  In the end I arrived at 8 and was leaving at 11.

 

Written: August 6, 2026


photo  - Google Images


 

Monday, July 27, 2026

Random Thoughts in June

 


Sometimes I feel like people are trying to pull the rug from under me. I sway, but I don't fall. However, if one day I do fall, I will rise taller than now. 

***

 Writing gives me a sense of purpose. Scratching on a piece of paper, materializing feelings and sensations, yanking out emotions from the depths of my soul trying to survive in these difficult times, but are times more difficult nowadays than compared to the 40s. At that time, there was the Second World War, so many deaths. Sometimes I wonder…

For senseless reasons these days seem to be a repeat. Who pressed that button and rewound that tape?

***

It has been a while since I've sat down to write.  Surely, I have written a poem here and there, but I mean, writing in the act of pouring my heart out on a sheet of paper.

Am I afraid that the emotions will flow through the tear ducks in my eyes? 

Am I frightened of opening up the box that has been kept up locked and chained?

Am I afraid that I will re-read what I've written and judge it to be ridiculous or even worse, feel sorry for myself or much worse, have pity?

Writing down the thoughts that run around in my brain scares me, at times.

What if in writing them down makes them come to life?

Perhaps that's why I won't. At least not today!

***

 

When I stopped walking to an only -God- knows -and- he's- too- busy- to- tell disease, hit me. The pain I felt was horrific! Questioning my doctor what pain from 1 to 10 means; what pain 10 feels like is in fact. He simply answered that it was when you felt like hitting your head against the wall because that pain would make you feel better. Although it doesn't make too much sense, I understood it quite clearly, however, the most painful feeling was when someone looked at me with eyes of pity. 

Feeling sorry for my condition was not helping me at all. It just made things worse. So next time you look at someone filled with pity, think again. 

Written: June 26 and 27, 2026


Google Images