What to do when you wake up with a feeling like
something is missing? It’s not every day that this happens but then there is
that one day when you open your eyes and there is that feeling of emptiness. You
really don’t think that emptiness is the correct word. Even the words escape
you. Despite the feeling you get up, take a shower, have your breakfast, check
your emails, social network, watch the morning news and then wait for the hour
to strike for your first commitment of the day. So, off you go.
Your appointment is at the manicurist and there you
meet up with the same people just like every other Friday. The eighty-three
year old woman whose appointment is after yours arrives and shares her good
news; she now has a boyfriend. The sounds of it distracts you from the
shallowness inside, lots of interesting questions pop up in your mind. Who?
What? When? How? She then starts to answer all those questions without your
having to ask her. He’s a friend of a friend. He wants to get married but she
doesn’t at this age “who needs to wash underwear” so she says. Then she tells
you that no one matches up to her deceased second husband. The first one was a
jerk, so she says, but the second one was a gentleman. However, the company to
the movies and church is welcome. He likes to kiss and hug a lot, she adds.
After that enlightening talk you are off to lunch. So
you go to that per - kilo restaurant that you usually go to and notice that the
staff has changed. The business was passed on to another group and eventually
the food is crummy and now you have to research and look for another place
nearby so you can have lunch on Fridays, your day off. Still the feeling that
woke up with you is around. Why doesn’t it just go away? After all now you have
other things in mind.
You leave lunch like you could have eaten better, walk
into your favorite clothing store to see if there are any after Christmas sales
and you end up buying a navy blue dress. Do you need a new dress? Probably not,
but it is set at such a good price and when you try it on it boosts up your
self-esteem because you like they way you look in it.
Afterwards you run into a friend who offers to buy you
a cup of coffee. What a kind gesture. Listening to other people, especially
people you like, is a really good way to fill your heart up with other
feelings. Depending on the stories they tell you, you feel anger, laugh, reflex
and even shed some tears.
You leave the coffee shop feeling pleased for it was a
pleasant conversation and it was nice to have someone pay you a rich cup of
coffee even if you could not eat anything because you can only eat gluten-free
stuff. You leave thinking that perhaps you should open a coffee shop that only
serves gluten free cakes and pies.
With that in mind off you go to the supermarket; you go to a different
one just for a change. It may not be the one with the best buys, but it is a
larger one with a variety of goods and you can look around. You buy what you
need and when you start filling your cart with goods that you do not really
need at the moment, but the prices are good, you decide that it is time to
leave. So, eventually you return some of the products and stick to the
necessities. Good thing your brain is working.
Upon arriving home, you put everything away and decide
to have another cup of coffee. You open up your laptop and try to write down what
you feel and it is only 4pm; still a bunch of hours to go before bedtime.
In the end, it has not been so bad after all and that
feeling of emptiness is still there but in the far corner of your heart somewhere
going into hiding. If it were a sunny day, walking in the park would have
solved the problem. However, keeping busy also seems to do the trick.
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(Written January 4, 2013)
