I have been questioning myself
lately about an aspect that has bothered me for a long time and that now I have
decided to change my attitude towards it. The fact is that there are some
people that walk by me ( at work, on the streets, at church, and so on) and do not even say hello or make a movement with a wink
or nod to acknowledge my presence.
You might be thinking as you read
that no one is obliged to greet others when they walk by. I agree, however, I
come from a time when saying hello, thank you and excuse me was something that
we said all the time; a sign of politeness. Of course we learned how to use
them and whenever we didn´t, someone would remind us they existed, mainly
parents and teachers. It is a habit that I still practice these days.
I greet strangers in the elevators
and even if they cross my path on the street, I tend to say hello. It makes
people feel good, I reckon, at least it breaks the tension. To me, all people
are the same and deserve the same treatment; more on the lines of “do onto
others as you would like them to do to you”.
However, there have been times when
these people, who pass by and do not even acknowledge the fact that another
human is going by, have come up to me at some time, usually towards the end of
the year, to ask me for my help in correcting something that has to do with the
language I teach. Then they find a smile, which was inside hiding all this
time, and nicely ask for my help. In the
past I have helped them out but nowadays I am having second thoughts. I have
done it because I wanted to and not because it is part of my task as a teacher
to do so, which it is not. I have done it for free and there were times when
not even a simple thank you was given in return as payment.
It is a very touchy issue nowadays because
these people are not used to taking no as an answer. Anyhow, my big dilemma is
that when I say no, which I eventually will end up doing due to lack of time
and an overhaul of work, why can´t I simply tell them the real reasons behind
my no? What I would like to say to them
is “Hey! Wake up and smell the coffee! What goes round comes round! You haven´t
greeted me all year long, even turned your head at times, and now because YOU
need me YOU expect me to help YOU because of a simple smile. Get real!” But
that can´t be said, now can it?
I am also thinking like who am I to
try to make these people aware of the fact that they will have a tough life if
they do not change their ways? Who do they think they are to treat another
human being this way? What makes them think that they are superior or better
than the next person? In life one has to give to receive. Giving does not mean
material things but a simple greeting is sometimes all a person needs.
We need others in our lives; we were
not created to be alone, to live in isolation. People need one another and the
sooner you learn this, the easier life can be.
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(Written August 14, 2013)Todos os direitos reservados a Meire Marion.