Tendonitis

 

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Since Monday, May 22nd, I have been home with a very acute case of tendonitis. I ended up in the ER due to excruciating pain and lack of being able to use my right hand. Today is the 5th day I'm still wearing this quite tight apparatus though the pain has lessened and I can move my fingers. Oh, don't worry. I'm not typing. Actually, I have this microphone on my computer which I can just dictate and the computer writes everything I have to say. I just have to fix the text by adding punctuation, paragraphs, etc. etc.

The first day it hit me, it was even hard to hold a book. But I'm glad that I was able to read four books this week (novels and short stories- some thick others thin). I was even able to write an article for the magazine that I write for. When I say write, I mean dictate and then correct it.

I am a dragon when it comes to reading. I am a book hoarder (I confess) and it frustrates me that sometimes I don't read fast enough to read all the books that I want to read. I make promises that I won't buy books until I have lowered my to-be-read pile of books, but I haven´t been able to keep that promise.

Back to Monday. Due to the pain, my distraction was the TV. I decided to see what was going on in the world so I turned it on and checked out the news. I am one who prefers to read newspaper articles than to watch the news on TV. If there were a little tube that came out of the TV, I’m sure that it would just squirt out blood all the time. Let me clarify.

I turned on the TV there was the weather forecast and then they started giving the local news. The first story that I heard was about young girl who paid 30,000 reais to have her mom, dad and brother murdered so that she could inherit all their money and be the sole heir to the family estate. Obviously, nothing worked out to the plan. The only ones that they were able to murder were her father and brother because her mother was called on an emergency trip to visit a family member in another town, so she wasn't there the night that the killers invaded the farm to do their job. While I was watching this, I kind of thought, how stupid can a human being be thinking that hiring killers would make her the sole heir to an estate and did she really think that these killers would not tell the police who had hired them in order to make their penalty less? Of course, she was arrested and they found out the whole story because one of the murderers just spilled the tea. Now she's going to live her life in prison and the sole heir to the estate is the mother because she's the only one who's alive. It made me sick to my stomach. I have zero tolerance when it comes to human stupidity.

Another story that turned my stomach was that Congress here in Brazil has voted a law in which the Amazon Forest can be explored for its minerals and whatever else they can find there. In a nutshell, more and more indigenous people are going to be killed. We're going to lose the wildlife – genocide.  It baffles me how people can do things and not think of others or think of those who will be left behind because these congress members are going to be gone and the planet’s going to still exist. Don´t they have children and grandchildren? Don´t they give a shit (pardon the language, but I am angry) what will life be like for these human beings in the future?

Another story that appeared was a woman who sent chocolates and flowers to her ex-husband’s new girlfriend, however, within the chocolates she had filled each and every one with rat poison. The girl who received it ate them and died. Once again, human stupidity! There wasn't a card she didn't know who had sent her the chocolate and the flowers.  I'm going to judge here because if it were me, I would throw it away, how am I going to eat chocolate or even smell, flowers or have flowers in my house from somebody who I do not know? We all have enemies in the world. Besides, she had been receiving messages from the ex's girlfriend threatening her. Threatening her on social media, threatening her via messages, so of course it was easy to find out who had sent the flowers and the chocolate.

During the first 15 minutes of the news, there were these three reports of justice anger and blood and just simple stupidity. I know I've repeated the word stupidity but this is one thing that really gets to me human stupidity. It's something I do not know how to deal with. In all of these three cases people were just stupid, heartless, selfish and I wouldn't even say that they all did it for money the last case, she did it for love so she said. But then again, isn´t love something that you let the person who you love go and be happy if this person does not want to be with you any longer or is not in love with you any longer. It's just a higher step. Love is letting go. People come and go. Love begins and love ends and life carries on.

Sorry for venting. It's not a pretty text to read therefore the rest of the week I decided that I would not listen or watch the news, consequently I read four books.

Note: A few days after I had written this text, I found out through a friend, that the girl who ate the tainted chocolate had called her boyfriend up to ask if he had sent her the flowers and chocolate (though he hadn´t) said he had. Oh, brother! Now the story is even worse!

 

Written: May 24, 2023

When choosing a book by its cover works out Beautifully

 

Book hoarder? YES! That's what I am - a book hoarder. I'm always checking the Internet for books on sale, especially in English, and I came across this book (see picture below). YES! I did judge it by its cover - cats and death - the perfect combination for a story.

I only noticed that it was a Japanese author when it arrived and to be quite frank, I order so many books that I kind of forget what is coming. When this book arrived it intrigued me and then I read the back cover, which says “What would you sacrifice for an extra day of life? The devil picked that moment to announce in his usual cheerful manner the next item he'd make disappear. I couldn't think about anything anymore so, I said yes just like that. At that point the thought that it could happen to my cat cabbage had never crossed my mind…”

If Cats Disappeared from the World by Genki Kawamura sold over 1,000,000 copies in Japan alone. It was launched in 2012 but it was only translated in 2018. In this story, this young man's days are numbered and strange from his family living alone with just his cat Cabbage for company, he is unprepared for the doctor's diagnosis. A diagnosis that he has only months to live, but before he can set about trap tackling his bucket list, the devil appears with the special offer in exchange. For making one thing in the world disappear he can have an extra day of his life and so begins a very bizarre week because how do you decide what makes life worth living? How do you separate out what you can do without from what you hold dear? In dealing with the devil, our narrator will take himself and his beloved cat to the brink. If Cats Disappeared from the World is a beautifully moving tale of loss and reconciliation of one man's journey to discover what really matters in modern life.

As I look at the author, Genki Kawamura, is a best-selling author of three novels; his first novel If Cats Disappear from the World has sold over a million copies in Japan (as I have already mentioned) and has been translated into 11 languages, translated into English by Eric Selland. His other novels are Million Dollar Man and April Come She Will. He has also written three children's picture books Tinny & The Balloon, MOOM and Patissier Monster. Kawamura is a producer, director, screen writer and a showrunner as well.

This book was the book is divided into days of the week, so it starts off with Monday. There's a short introduction for us to know why and what and how it was written. Starting on Monday when the devil makes his appearance, there is a part, starting on page 183 where he talks to the devil “When cabbage and I got home last night Aloha was waiting for us.” Aloha is the pet name he gives to the devil. “Actually, he wore his usual loud outfit - Hawaiian shirts and shorts, with a pair of sporty sunglasses perched on his forehead. I was annoyed to see him, but on the other hand, a part of me found seeing the same old outfit almost reassuring. It's kind of frightening how easily you get used to things.

 ‘Hey, where the hell were you? I thought maybe you'd been spirited away or something. I was about to lodge a missing person’s report with the man upstairs.

‘Sorry.’

‘Whoa, there what happened?  Lost your mojo?  And where is it by the way?

Then we jump to page 185 he asks:

‘By the way, what does the devil normally look like?’  Because the devil in the story looks like him, except dressed in Hawaiian clothes, totally the opposite of what he is.

‘You really want to know?’

‘Yes, I do.’

‘Well, actually I don't have any one specific form.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘The devil only exists in the hearts and the minds of the humans. Then you humans express that in lots of different forms. It's kind of random like with horns and a pitchfork or in the form of a dragon. {…} Though I take particular exception to the horns and pitchfork - I mean give me a break! It's just bad taste, don't you think?’

‘Yeah, you're right about that one.’

‘I don't like that look at all.’

‘I'm not surprised.’

‘So, you see, the form I take all depends on your imagination. The devil is in your heart looks just like you.’

‘But your personality is totally different to mine.’

‘Humm, yes. But I think that's the important bit. In other words, I'm a person you could have been.

‘In what sense?’

‘It's the side of yourself that you never showed. You know, cheerful but shallow, weary flashy wearing flashy clothes, doing whatever you wanted without worrying about what other people would think - saying whatever you want, no matter how inappropriate.”

This is the passage that I really liked and it's like you know good and evil live in each person and you show whatever you want to people. It's like when they say that when you're older if you were a good person you tend to be grumpy and evil due to your dementia or whatever problem you may have at the end of your days. Otherwise, if you were crabby person, during your life, and evil, you tend to become a sweet and happy elderly person.

There's another passage in the book that I like. It is when the narrator talks about love and death on page 72. Actually, he's talking about relationships and he's pondering on relationships so he says: “Love has to end. That's all. And even though everyone knows it they still fall in love. I guess it's the same with life. We all know it has to end someday, but even so we act as if we're going to live forever. Like love , life is beautiful because it has to end.” This part made me think about the fact that we're all going to die one day so what does it matter if you have an extra day. It's not like you can take an airplane ride to the northern hemisphere to finally tell somebody how you feel about them or apologize to them so that you can pass away in peace.

As you can see this book has touched me and even though I will be donating it to the school library. That's what I've been doing with the books that I read in English - I donate them to the school library just to upgrade their reading material and I know that when I die my books will be given away so, I might as well give them away in life.  The books that I read in Portuguese I usually give to friends or donate to other institutions there is even a library, let's say in the suburbs of Sao Paulo that I have donated so many books that one day they have invited me to visit the library because the children would like to meet me. All of this just because when my father passed - he was a reader he made his own little bookshelf he was proud of his books and everything that he read he wasn't a reader during his whole life because he was a hard worker and he had to support his family, however, as he became older one of his favorite pastimes was reading. We basically read the same books especially during the Harry Potter phase; I would read in English he would read in Portuguese and we would talk about it, which just created a greater bond between us. He was so proud of those books and he would clean them and he kept them on his little bookshelf that he made out of pipes - he was a plumber - and wood and it was, it's still there in his house. It's something very artistic. Let's say, however, when he passed books were just thrown into boxes to be thrown away. I don't think it crossed the minds of the people in my family to donate the books because it is something that they do not treasure. However, I did take the boxes and donated them to this school.

Nonetheless, there are some books that I do keep. There are some collections that I have like my favorite author who is Haruki Murakami (everybody knows that) I have read most if not all of his books - those I keep. It's not like I'm going to read them again although I have reread some of them. But it's a collection that I like to look at and recall the characters and plots. Then of course there are those books that people autograph and dedicate to me. Those books I also keep because I think that that would be kind of strange for you to find a book dedicated to me somewhere either in a second-hand bookstore or even a library. When I'm dead, OK fine that is a different question, but while I'm alive that does not make sense at all - at least to me.

So, when they say never judge a book by its cover sometimes there is a fluke and it works out quite well.

Written: May 24, 2023

Photo: personal file

Photo: personal file

Photo: personal file

Photo: personal file

 

SMILE

 

Smile- Nat King Cole

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the Sun come shining through, for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just smile

 

This morning I woke up with this song playing in my “inner radio.” My “inner radio” wakes me up with a new tune. Sometimes happy; sometimes sad. I guess this is how my subconscious wakes me up to face the day and carry on. Even if I listen to other songs along the day, the one I wake up to plays on and on until the following morning. (The other day I woke I to “Just a Gigolo by David Lee Roth – go figure. It made me laugh and I hummed it throughout the day.)

As I opened my bedroom window this morning, there was the moon smiling back at me – a coincidence? I don´t believe in coincidences but that everything is connected, and events happen - be them positive or negative - when they need to happen. Perhaps we can call it serendipity. My “inner radio” was playing Smile and the moon was smiling back at me. Did I wake up sad?

“Smile what´s the use of crying”… to me, crying is extremely helpful. It alleviates the pain. It is as if with each tear drop, the anger, frustration or sadness leaves my body, and rolls down my cheeks, freeing my system from negative vibes. To be honest, it has been a while since I have cried a good cry – sobbing and letting it all pour out.

“When there are clouds in the sky/ You'll get by.” Thinking about it unemotionally, there are many clouds in the sky, not directly over my head, but over the heads of those who are connected to me somehow – diseases, terminal illnesses, poverty, hunger; so on and so forth. I am like a little sponge that can absorb the emotions around me. You´d think that at this advanced age (looks can be deceiving) I would have learned by now how to close myself up to the energy surrounding me.

I guess I am what they call, nowadays, an empath. It is defined as a person highly attuned to the feelings and emotions of those around them. Empaths feel what another person is feeling at a deep emotional level. Their ability to discern what others are feeling goes beyond empathy, which is defined simply as the ability to understand the feelings of others. (“What Is an Empath and How Do You Know If You Are One? - Very well Mind”) Instead, being an empath extends to truly taking those feelings on. By doing this, empaths end up feeling drained at the end of the day. Some have trouble sleeping and even suffer from mental well-being.

The part of the song, “You'll find that life is still worthwhile /If you'll just smile,” is something I would like to say to all of those who find themselves under dark clouds. Smile! It´ll send a positive message to your brain. Life is not easy, and I genuinely believe that it was not meant to be, however, no matter how difficult it may be, it is still worthwhile.

The opposite can also be effective. Smile at people when you cross their paths. It can be a life changer.

 Written: May 16, 2023

 

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Tradução

A Man of God

Continuing the topic of the homeless people, we have a very special person who has been working for ages in feeding these people and really following his oath as a priest. His name is Júlio Renato Lancellotti (São Paulo, December 27, 1948), a Brazilian Catholic educator and priest. He works as pastor of the parish of São Miguel Arcanjo in the Mooca neighborhood, in the city of São Paulo. In addition to the parish, the priest is also responsible for the masses held in the chapel of the São Judas Tadeu University, located on the same street. In 1986 he was assigned to the Parish of São Miguel Arcanjo da Mooca, where he began pastoral work with homeless people and abandoned minors. He participated in the campaign against mistreatment at the State Foundation for the Well-Being of Minors (FEBEM), whose name was changed to Fundação Casa- Fundação Centro de Atendimento Socioeducativo ao Adolescente (Foundation Center for Socio-Educational Assistance to Adolescents). Four years later he was one of the founders of Comunidade Povo da Rua São Martinho de Lima, a shelter for homeless people. The community had a kitchen, laundry and a small carpentry workshop for vocational courses.

            Father Lancellotti (or Father Júlio as he is called here in Brazil) works with juvenile offenders, prisoners on parole, patients with HIV/AIDS and low-income and homeless populations. He believes in the human person above all else, "as the image and likeness of God" and considers that all citizens should have their rights respected. He has also published many books on his work.

Nonetheless many people are against his way of being and have threatened him because the neighborhood where his parish is located is surrounded by people who seek help, especially during meal times. The neighborhood dwellers claim that the prices of the real estate have dropped due to the mess and the stench of these people. For sure, these complainers go to church and practice their beliefs on Sunday but then throughout the rest of the week, or I should say, outside the church they forget what they are preached during the service.

 Why is it so hard for people to support those who do something in favor of the people in need? Why doesn't it make these complainers feel uncomfortable or even how can they sleep at night knowing that a brother or a sister in their region is suffering by having to beg and surviving off the streets while they are comfortable in their own homes? I do understand that some people they might say that they had to fight and struggle for their meals and the shelter over their heads and I am not judging this, however, if you can afford to help someone, even if it's just one person, you are doing more than those who don't do anything at all. I truly do not understand why this priest who emanates care, love and compassion can be a threat to society.

“Whoever oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God”. - Proverbs 14:31

Written: May 15, 2023

 

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The Hammock

 

The number of people who are living on the streets nowadays in Sao Paulo has increased drastically. I'm not too sure about the numbers although I could research and find out, however, the point of the matter is that some these people have lost their homes due to lack of jobs, after covid; some of them are involved with drugs; others just prefer to live on the streets than to pay taxes or belong or even be part of this society the way it has been structured.

People try to live the best they can on the streets. Some of them have tents that have been donated to them by some kind souls; others make box houses or even wooden shelters. Many of them have pets so they have trustworthy company. I've seen some of them that even have like a little entree or living room space outside their tents with a small table, chairs and even some flowers in a vase in an effort to make it their “home sweet home”.

But what surprised me the other day as I was driving to school, there was a hammock that was tied to a pillar and the gate of a store. In my mind, I thought it was a brilliant idea because it keeps the person safe and warm, protected from any rodents or insects creeping around at night; safe from being walked over by people who are distracted; warm because they're not in contact to the cold ground and they are protected inside the hammock from the wind. So, for the person who did this, I applaud them and I also applaud the shop owner who did not call the police on this person and let the person spend the night there.

 After a few days I noticed that the hammock was not there so I assume that the person walked a little bit more around the city and decided to set up his hammock somewhere else. It could be between two trees, a gate and a fence, the door of a place and a fence. This way people will be more protected and the government does not have to remove them from these places like human trash.

It shocks me to see that there are so many abandoned buildings and houses that could be fixed up to give these people a shelter and hope to find their place in the world or get them back on their feet instead of destroying the box homes and tents that they set up anywhere in the street.

Here's the picture that I took of the person in the hammock. I hope that soon this person will find a place to call his own, nonetheless, meanwhile continue being protected in the hammock.

 

Photo: Taken April 12, 2023

Written: April 13, 2023