My superhero: dad.
He was born in 1940, here is Brazil.
He always says that he was born under a banana tree where a midwife pulled him
by his right arm, explaining why he cannot lift it and why it is crooked. I
have never doubted this story; however, as I grow older, I start to wonder how
much of it is true.
He has fought many battles ever
since we met, one of which was having to leave behind his beloved homeland and
move the wife and two little girls to the US, and to work in a mill. He used to
be a plumber before the move, but in the States he worked a night shift so he
could take care of his little girls while the wife took the day shift. You
might be wondering whether he got any sleep at all; he did. He slept while the
little girls were off at school. Although nowadays I wonder how he did it. He
must have had special powers when I was little.
When I was twelve, another little
girl came along. Poor dad, his dream of having a son was over. He did not mind,
though. He treated all his daughters the same. He used to play with them and
their toys- tea parties, dolls, theater plays and dances. He never hit any of
them, but then again his words hurt. His speeches were something that stayed in
your mind and hurt very much.
He has special powers when it comes
to giving you advice and he is in favor of cultural diversity. I never heard
him complain when I was growing up of feeling sick, not having any money or
being unhappy about something in his relationship with mom.
He had a tough time with alcohol and
also his epilepsy. Watching him when he was having an episode was very
frightening in both situations. I remember that the first time I saw him have a
seizure and got to know that he had epilepsy was on a trip to Canada. We had
stopped somewhere near New Hampshire when my uncle didn´t let me get in the
back seat of our car and I saw dad having an attack. It was scary and I thought
that he was dying. I believe I was 11 at the time. My mom ended up driving
until we reached my other uncle´s home in Canada and then dad sat down with me
to explain what had happened.
The time that he was having a hard
time with drinking was when I was around 25. I had just gotten divorced and
moved back in with him and mom that was when I realized that things were pretty
ugly and my hero lost his charm and magic. The hero that I had looked up to and
loved so much had died and this impostor had taken over his body and was making
me sad. As a matter of fact, I thought that I was the one to blame for this. I
was the first in the family to get divorced and then thought that it
embarrassed him. His Kryptonite?
Perhaps the biggest issue was the
mixture of the medication that he took for his disease and the alcohol. The
effect was bombastic. I remember once when the phone rang in the middle of the
night. It was the police saying that they found dad in his car on the highway.
Dad was pretty lucky for his arm used to go numb and he knew that a seizure was
going to take place. That night he had parked his car and had a seizure. The
police picked him up because they thought he was drunk. However, on that day he
had not drunk a single drop. After the seizure he didn´t know who he was or
where he was and it took some time for him to get his bearings. Nonetheless,
his breath had the smell of alcohol on it and the police simply thought he had
been drinking and took him to the station. I had to pick him up. We had a huge
row on the way back home. After this, it took some time to rebuild our
relationship. As I said, he had died for me.
Several years went by and he stopped
drinking all together when he found out he had a heart problem. Slowly my hero
started regaining his super powers. He has a special way of looking at the
bright side of life, always thinking of the positive aspects of a situation. He
is witty and funny.
This month my dad will turn 75. He
is in another situation in his life nowadays. Three months ago he stopped
talking. His voice just vanished. With a lot of effort you can hear him. He is very
sad about it and it seems like he has aged a lot. It seems that his left vocal
cord has paralyzed, therefore not allowing him to speak loud and clear. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that he used to
smoke. He smoked for 62 years and it has been 3 since he quit. Due to this, he
does not qualify for a vocal cord surgery because he has emphysema and he would
have a tough time breathing. Poor dad! He loves talking to people. It is sad to
see him just sit there when inside he has so much to say. He is going to a
speech therapist to help with this new bridge.
Watching your super hero age is not
pleasant.
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| My SUPERHERO : DAD Photo: Joao Arthur |
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