An Unexplainable Day

What to do when you wake up with a feeling like something is missing? It’s not every day that this happens but then there is that one day when you open your eyes and there is that feeling of emptiness. You really don’t think that emptiness is the correct word. Even the words escape you. Despite the feeling you get up, take a shower, have your breakfast, check your emails, social network, watch the morning news and then wait for the hour to strike for your first commitment of the day. So, off you go.

Your appointment is at the manicurist and there you meet up with the same people just like every other Friday. The eighty-three year old woman whose appointment is after yours arrives and shares her good news; she now has a boyfriend. The sounds of it distracts you from the shallowness inside, lots of interesting questions pop up in your mind. Who? What? When? How? She then starts to answer all those questions without your having to ask her. He’s a friend of a friend. He wants to get married but she doesn’t at this age “who needs to wash underwear” so she says. Then she tells you that no one matches up to her deceased second husband. The first one was a jerk, so she says, but the second one was a gentleman. However, the company to the movies and church is welcome. He likes to kiss and hug a lot, she adds.

After that enlightening talk you are off to lunch. So you go to that per - kilo restaurant that you usually go to and notice that the staff has changed. The business was passed on to another group and eventually the food is crummy and now you have to research and look for another place nearby so you can have lunch on Fridays, your day off. Still the feeling that woke up with you is around. Why doesn’t it just go away? After all now you have other things in mind.

You leave lunch like you could have eaten better, walk into your favorite clothing store to see if there are any after Christmas sales and you end up buying a navy blue dress. Do you need a new dress? Probably not, but it is set at such a good price and when you try it on it boosts up your self-esteem because you like they way you look in it.

Afterwards you run into a friend who offers to buy you a cup of coffee. What a kind gesture. Listening to other people, especially people you like, is a really good way to fill your heart up with other feelings. Depending on the stories they tell you, you feel anger, laugh, reflex and even shed some tears.

You leave the coffee shop feeling pleased for it was a pleasant conversation and it was nice to have someone pay you a rich cup of coffee even if you could not eat anything because you can only eat gluten-free stuff. You leave thinking that perhaps you should open a coffee shop that only serves gluten free cakes and pies.

With that in mind off you go to the supermarket; you go to a different one just for a change. It may not be the one with the best buys, but it is a larger one with a variety of goods and you can look around. You buy what you need and when you start filling your cart with goods that you do not really need at the moment, but the prices are good, you decide that it is time to leave. So, eventually you return some of the products and stick to the necessities. Good thing your brain is working.

Upon arriving home, you put everything away and decide to have another cup of coffee. You open up your laptop and try to write down what you feel and it is only 4pm; still a bunch of hours to go before bedtime.

In the end, it has not been so bad after all and that feeling of emptiness is still there but in the far corner of your heart somewhere going into hiding. If it were a sunny day, walking in the park would have solved the problem. However, keeping busy also seems to do the trick.

 

 

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(Written January 4, 2013)