Am I Going Insane?

 

These days have been dim. Individuals are startled about tomorrow. However, tomorrow has never been promised. We can hope for it, wish for it and even believe in it. But then again, tomorrow is just an imaginary word. A land that suddenly becomes today or yesterday. Little children sometimes refer to it as the day not today. Stop and listen to how children from 2 to 5 talk about time. What is clear in their minds is today. They live for the present, now, the moment.

When I started thinking about this text, I wanted to talk about what has been happening in my country. I say it proudly, it has beautiful places to visit and the diversity of the peoples is outstanding. I wanted to start off on a positive note. I am rattling my brain to find one. Perhaps that I am alive and typing the muffled ideas in my mind.

Tomorrow is what I started talking about, however, what I really wanted to talk about is yesterday. Well, here goes. Last night the president of my country (who will be referred to as so-and-so in this text) spoke on national radio and tv. It has been a while since I have watched national tv. I read in the paper this morning that his address was full of lies. He has started his reelection campaign. Anyhow, as he was speaking, people went to their windows to bang on pots and pans in a sign of protest against him. I include myself in this act of protest. Nonetheless, while the noise of the tin grew louder, there was a woman in the middle of the street near my building, screaming at the top of her lungs for him to stay and how lovely he was. Her voice seemed to stand out because she was the only one saying the opposite of what everyone else was yelling. The others as if in a choir were yelling leave, go away; she yelled stay.

She did catch my attention as I stood at my window. When I spotted her, she was reminded me of an angry mother bear trying to protect her cub. If other people agreed with her, they were quietly hiding behind the curtains in their homes. Not her though. She was out there in the middle of the street marching us and down, flapping her arms in the air, crying and howling. So-and-so stay! So-and-so is lovely! So-and-so is helping the country.

As I was lying down waiting to fall asleep, I could still hear her voice. My brain started to find arguments to support her, but there were none. With everything that has been happening in my country. Just to list them would make me fall off the ledge into the pit of depression.

I realize that this text seems a bit confusing, guess that it is the effect that I want it to have. A representation of the ideas floating around in my mind. Am I going insane that there are people still blind to what is happening? Could they be right? Might I be wrong? Stuck in the matrix, better yet, this nightmare. When will it end?

Written: March 26, 2021

 

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