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Thursday, June 3, 2021

An Uncomfortable Moment

To this day I still do not know why people call you dear, sweetheart or love when they do not even know you. Here is an example of what I am talking about.

A man, woman and child were waiting for the elevator in my building as was I. From the small talk we exchanged, I realized they had just moved in. The man saw that I was carrying grocery bags, as he was also, and asked if there were other supermarkets nearby than the one he was coming from. I mentioned a couple but said I was coming from the local grocery store. He asked where that might be because it could come in handy. I gave him the information.

The elevator arrived and I held the door open as well as pressing the button they were going to - 22. It seemed like the woman was his mother-in-law who had also moved in but lived on the 14th floor, however, she was going up to the 22nd to take care of her grandchild whom she was carrying. He was not much older than 18 months. He was chewing on a piece of bread and the grandma rejoiced in telling me how much the little boy loved bread, pizza and all the goodies little Italian boys liked.

Finally, my floor arrived, and the man said many times. Do you need any help, dear? Let me hold the door, sweetheart. I thanked him nicely and said that I had the hang of it. See you later love were his finally words before the door closed.

The way he used the words: dear, love, sweetheart really made my skin crawl. I am not his dear. I am a total stranger. What gives him the right to call anyone like that? Perhaps it is the same way he calls his wife, in which case makes sense to me. I just wanted to throw all this discomfort right back at him. However, I held it back because for sure he wouldn´t understand my point.

As I was opening my apartment door, my phone rang. It was a very good friend of mine. He sensed something was up and I told him what had happened. I added that it must be the macho upbringing in this culture. We do live in a very chauvinistic country where men think they are God´s gift to women. Then, my friend said that he called some people dear. I sighed and told him that I would call him back later. I was not in the mood to have this talk with him at that moment. For sure, we would get into an argument over it.

Maybe next time when I run into this dude, I will call him Zeus or babe and see what his reaction will be.

Written: May 28, 2021


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