Stay or go? That is the Question

 

Going to the weekly meeting has lit a sparked in your mind whether your presence is truly needed. As the app lets you into the room, the conversation going on can be heard although your microphone takes a while to turn on. Then, there are those who question why your camera is not on without realizing that this mechanism also takes its own slow time to turn on. Sometimes you wonder whether you should get a new laptop or just make a few upgrades so that it works a bit faster and do not need to deal with the comments made – “how come her camera is not on”; “it is always that way”; “maybe she doesn´t want to be seen” – these comments are so aggravating.

The fact that the people in or at the meeting (since it is online, prepositions are used differently according to grammarians. Then again, grammarians tend to differ on syntax) are much older than you are and the one who is younger has discovered a way to just say that he is listening in but is at work so then the camera will be off and will answer via chat. Of course, when the chat box pops up, the message is read at once. When you try to speak, someone tramples over your speech, and then the others just ignore your point of view and go along with the treader. So, what is there to do, but turn off your mic, hold on to your chin, smile and pretend that you are mindfully there.

Nobody asks for your opinion. Nobody even notices that you have made a gesture agreeing or disagreeing with what has been decided. Nobody cares whether you are there. Once again you wonder if you should say that the connection is bad; if you should miss the next meeting, if you should even belong to the group at all. Would you be a huge loss or even a minor one for them? Would they come running after you? You understand that people are replaceable, however these are the feelings that run through your mind. Afterall, you are only human.

There are times when you believe that you should make yourself heard. Your opinion is important. Your experience in life can contribute to the matter. You have probably done it several times before and are only tired from always having to do so. You end up coming to the conclusion that you actually cannot teach an old dog new tricks. The saying has been wrong all along. Maybe, it just applies to the animal itself. Old dogs are able to be taught, people are not.

 

Written: February 5, 2025

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